Friends Story – FRIENDSHIP IS A CELEBRATION OF LIFE
Photo credit: slowfoot from morguefile.com
I still remember how we use to compete during childhood. That cycle racing competition at school is fondly ingrained in my memory. We both were preparing well for it and were determined to beat each other. But just few days before it my cousin had an accident and broke my cycle. I was in tears as I knew I won’t be able to participate. I lost before the competition could even start.
At that Alex came forward with his cycle and offered me to use it in the race. Though we were friends yet the race was as important to him as it was for me. I was surprised and to some extent shocked as we were planning to give each other tough competition in the race. I was rather too young to understand the emotions or bonding and so I straightaway asked him, “Why you want to do this?”
Without any second thought he replied back instantly, “Because I want you to participate.”
I remained silent and knew not what to say. I could not understand that reply. In the evening when I shared it with my parents they just discarded it as something trivial. It was not that I and Alex never had a fight. We use to quarrel a lot but at the end of the day we would makeup. We spent hours together and even in school we enjoyed each other’s company. His parents though never approved our friendship.
As we became good friends, I realized Alex had plans to go for studies away from his home and wanted to remain there for as long as he can. All through those school years we remained close to each other and were best of friends. We watched movies together and would often wonder how it may feel to fall in love as depicted in cinema. He would come to my house often, sit and chat with my parents and siblings, but I mostly avoided visiting his place for I knew his parents are not in favor of our bonding.
His dream materialized soon enough when we both got selected in the same college for our four year Bachelor’s course. He was happy that he is away from home and I was delighted that I will get to enjoy in his company. The next four years were the best as well as the wildest of our lives. Every summer holidays he would prepare a list of ‘to do’ fun activities after discussion with me and then ensure their passionate execution. He would do that so he don’t have to go back home during holidays.
We shared a big room together just outside the college campus. We partied, we got various tattoos, we flirted with girls, we lived on the edge and we studied hard as well. We lost virginity together, we visited new places, and we went for trekking and holidays on beaches and mountains. We visited monasteries on distant mountains to understand spirituality and met religious people to discuss the same. They were surprised by our presence. We contemplated life and death.
Alex always gelled instantly with the people who required support and affection and we visited various orphanages and old age homes on regular basis. He made good amount of donation to these places and spent time with inmates as if he had known them from ages. He would also personally write letters to some of the inmates and remained in touch with them. One could always have a brief glimpse of a serious side of his personality in the middle of all fun and craziness.
We read and discussed good amount of literature, tried learning music, and also created some poetry. We wanted to explore everything. I still remember his first time with a girl which took place an hour after my first time. He came out from his room and said in an excited tone, “Man that felt like heaven…!” We analyzed it the entire night, laughing loudly like some crazy youngsters. We discussed and enjoyed every aspect of life. ‘Friendship is a celebration of life’ he would often remark. Learning from various experiences we matured together.
His parents encouraged him to live life in that grand way in accordance to their reputation of being super rich. It had very less to do with the happiness of Alex and more with the satisfaction of their own personal egos and status in society. The money was always at his disposal and he cared very less for the same. When I scolded him once for wasting it he replied back, “It is your company that gives me happiness not this money. Forget about its wastage”
“Somehow, we always connect together so well. I sometimes feel that you are the only family that I actually have. ” He said to me once after spending couple of days at home and coming back to college.
“That is true and remarkable as well” I replied.
“Why remarkable?” Alex asked.
“Remarkable in a sense that there are not many who can correlate with me and match my frequency. It is not that they are lacking something, it is just that I am not up to their standard” I replied.
“I understand that well” Alex replied back.
“Yes, we are heavy, mad, crazy and everything else, but normal. You are as much a part of me as I am yours in this collective madness. The cravings of our heart may not be more than an expression of insanity for outer world but then who cares for what they think. They likely won’t ever understand the music that we create together.” I said.
“Hmm” He nodded back in approval.
Soon after college we landed up decent jobs. There was actually no need for Alex to get a job as he had a huge individual family businesses of both his mother and father. He could have joined either of them and they also wanted it. But perhaps there was a reason that he did not wanted to join them. Anyways, we both got busy in our jobs and life moved on for another year. In the meanwhile Alex started dating Natasha, a soft spoken, beautiful and well cultured girl from our college days. She was our common friend and in fact it was I who introduced her to Alex. One thing was sure, had it not been for Alex, I would myself had fallen for that girl. She was from a different city about a thousand miles away. Though she was not from a sound financial background as Alex, but still Alex went ahead with it. I was happy for both of them.
His parents would require lot of convincing to accept Natasha he once told me that. I just felt that it is quite normal for rich people to act in that way when someone from a lower economic background is becoming part of their family. Things went quite fast and within another year he got married to Natasha. Functions leading to the marriage ceremony were all grand ones. His parents invited every famous man and woman of the city. People from outside the city and abroad also became part of the occasion to bless the couple. It was not difficult to know that through his marriage Alex’s parents made a statement about the kind and size of wealth and social standing they possess.
Though Alex and Natasha appeared happy, yet I sensed there still was something that was bothering him. A slight uneasiness in him was felt by me.
I asked him, “What is troubling you?”
“Nothing much” Alex replied.
“Come on, you can hide it from the world, but not from me” I said.
“I am just worried if Natasha would be able to settle down in my family. That is something that concerns me. Her happiness and satisfaction is my responsibility. ” Alex replied.
“Well, she is a very nice girl and she will do fine. You need not worry” I said that in a casual sense not realizing that the concern of Alex was genuine.
As it appeared from outside all went well and soon the couple were blessed with a baby girl. It was another occasion to celebrate. A party was organized and we enjoyed it a lot. The baby girl was named Sophia.
Few days after that celebration on a specific day Alex called me twice during the afternoon, but I was busy working in office. I thought, I would call him back in the evening. By evening, I got the news that Alex was found dead in a car accident ten miles from his home on the national highway. He was drunk. I regretted not taking his call for the rest of my life. It was a sudden shock for me. I could not understand how it happened. What was the need for Alex to get drunk? We already had set up a plan to catch up on the weekend. The days that followed, I missed him terribly. I felt that it was unreal and he may eventually turn up one day. It was quite weird that for few days afterwards I saw him in dreams almost every night, but as soon as the dream got over he was gone. I remembered all those past moments of our togetherness leading to fun, pleasure and discussions. I felt that someone just took away a part of me and left a huge void. I saw our old videos and pictures and never got tired of watching them again and again. I felt cheated that God just took him away from me so early.
I was not sure that life would be difficult for Natasha in that house in the absence of Alex. As I always avoided going to Alex’s house so I would often invite her to mine. I, mostly found her broken and alone. Natasha and Sophia were the only part of Alex that was left with me now. For next couple of years Natasha tried hard to please Alex’s parents. She had no one to share her grief and she chose to remain confined to herself. Alex’s parents were busy in their life as nothing has happened. They blamed Natasha for Alex’s death and cursed her very often. Natasha patiently tolerated their disgusting behavior with an expectation that they might change.
Sophia was Natasha’s only priority. Sophia, now two year old, was just like her father. She would sit with my parents and play with them excitedly. She would call my father grandpa.
For two years, Natasha tried to appear stronger and avoided sharing with me, but one specific day she broke down in tears in front of me.
“I miss him so much. They killed him. They snatched him from me. ” She said.
“What happened? Who killed him?” I asked in surprise.
“His parents” She replied back and handed me couple of pages from Alex’s personal diary. Till that moment I just had a brief idea about the behavior of Alex’s parents, but I was not sure that it is something of grave concern. I also had no idea that he was writing some diary.
Alex became alive once again and spoke through his diary –
We are like four strangers living in a big house. None of us understand or appreciate each other. I, my father, my mother and my elder sister are all from different worlds. Mother and Father are in the same line of businesses. They both are passionate about it. Initially their parents got them married expecting that business rivalry shall be turned into friendship. But they were proven wrong. They became bitter towards each other with passing years. Everyday business stories and success deals are brought back home from office to appear superior in front of each other. They argue endlessly sometimes. They invite people for their own individual parties and discussions at home.
We kids, I and my sister are lost somewhere in between. Every excuse becomes a chance for them to pounce on each other. Something happened recently and they found another excuse to blame each other. My sister is more close to my mom than my dad. She got pregnant by her boyfriend and my father just went insane. He blamed both mother and daughter for this foolishness and this lead to a fresh argument that lasted for few days. I am not close to my sister either for she remains occupied in her own world of friends, parties and business of my mother. Me and her rarely ever sit together and talk.
He further expressed his fear –
I feel scared…….this failure of relation between my mother and father encourages me to love Natasha more and keep her close to my heart always. I don’t want to set an example of failure like them. I don’t want my child to grow in such a terrible atmosphere in which I grew myself. My marriage to Natasha is an opportunity for my parents to blame me for my poor choice. It encouraged countless arguments. They never accepted Natasha and are always finding faults in her dressing, speaking and economic background. They always encourage me to leave her so that they could find some better girl matching their standards. It is sheer suffocation, that is what my parents have given me always and now they are doing the same to Natasha as well. The ease with which you learn, acquire and cultivate a habit is nothing in comparison to the effort that you would require to unlearn the same. They both have cultivated this habit of spreading negativity at home without the least concern for their children. I pity those who claim that parents are true representation of GOD – if this is what God is all about, I would better be an atheist.
I met Natasha again and she told me, “That unfortunate day he had a heated argument with his parents. He wanted to move out of the house with me and Sophia. They disliked the idea and scolded him.”
“Why they did so?” I asked Natasha.
“They did not wanted to compromise their reputation by allowing their son to live in a cheap rented apartment outside somewhere. It was not good for their image which they created after so much of hard work and effort over the years. Their image had already taken a beating when their son married me and they were in no mood to tolerate more of this nonsense. In a fit of anger Alex took the car and went to a pub for few drinks. I requested him not to go. While coming back he met with an accident and lost his life.” Natasha replied back with tears strolling down her cheeks.
I said nothing, but just wondered that the expression of personal ego can even damage the most beautiful of relations.
I was still wondering when Natasha said, “After every heated argument with parents Alex would always say, ‘If something happens to me ever don’t go to my mother or father or my sister, but just go to Jacob”’.
That was the kind of faith and trust Alex had in me. I had no words to say anything. I just embraced Natasha tightly. I would have done the same to Alex had he been there at that moment. I wiped her tears and kissed her forehead. “You and Sophia will just be fine” I said confidently.
I found it difficult to understand that why Alex never shared any of this with me. Perhaps he did not wanted to trouble me unnecessarily or perhaps he did not wanted to appear weaker or emotional for I always considered him to be a strong adult and looked up to him. The reasons just went away with him. That particular night I wept. I never wept before when he died though I felt a deep void, but now this deep void was filled with tears. I loved Alex even more. I remembered his words, ‘Friendship is a celebration of life’ and I spoke to myself, ‘I shall celebrate you in death as well.’ I just wished his parents could have understood and appreciated him.
Whenever I would meet Natasha afterwards, I was reminded that somewhere from someplace Alex must be watching it all and he must surely be in pain seeing the treatment meted out to Natasha by his parents. It just made me uncomfortable. I wanted to be around her and Sophia. I wanted to get them out of that environment, if not for them than at least for Alex. It was difficult for her to go back to her parents. They were quite old and she did not wanted to be a burden on them. I contemplated for a month and then one fine day out of my liking for her and not any compulsion, in the middle of an emotional conversation, I proposed her for marriage. I had already taken prior approval from my parents.
“I can never take place of Alex, but yet I want to marry you. I want you to be my best friend for the rest of my life through this bond of togetherness, we call marriage.” I said to her holding her hands.
She looked into my eyes with her moist eyes and as a token of acceptance, she said nothing, but just came forward and hugged me.
I have since then realized that the encouragement and freedom that was not available for Alex at home is what he tried to create outside for others. I understood why he always supported me for everything. It was something that he wanted from his parents. The love and affection he showered upon me and the inmates of the old age home was something missing at his own home. What you lack at one place you create it at some other place. They created suffocation for him and he created freedom for me. They created pain for him and he created pleasure for others.
As I see it today ten years down the line – My best friend did not go anywhere he is just living with me through Natasha and Sophia. From my marriage to Natasha, we had a new little member in our family, guess what his name is – it is Alex.
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