Chapter 4-
Our Lab in charge SRI GOVINDHA RAMAKRISHNAN, (we will call him Gonda) is very very strict. We have to be perfect in completing the records. Jerri didn’t complete his record, he asked me to come early to the class to complete his record. So to help him I went to college early on that day.
I don’t know, unexpected thing was going to happen. When I entered the class he was sitting on his bench. Usually he will be fun and enthusiastic. He will never shut his mouth not even for a minute. But he was very quite he just gave a single word reply for everything. I asked what happened but he didn’t reply properly.
First period got over still he was silent. I was not able to concentrate in class, was thinking about reason behind his silence. So we made many comedies to bring him normal, we passed chits, still no change. At last he called Divya and gave chits to her, with one condition DON’T SHOW THE CHITS TO ME (MYSELF).After reading that chit Divya started to laugh like anything. I don’t know for what reason she was laughing….
I asked what happened but she not even cared my words and was busy in writing reply to him. I got irritated because of her unusual behavior. I tried to take chit from her hand; she told harshly “IT’S NOT FOR YOU”. I got frustrated and felt like moving from my place.
BUT FORTUNATELY IT’S TIME FOR TEA BREAK
Immediately I went to the wash room without waiting for Divya. I don’t know why I felt like that. My eyes filled with tears. I felt something strange. I never met a situation like that in my life.
Break time got over. It’s time to go back to class. But I don’t want to go. With hesitation I entered the class. It’s a free hour. No staff in class so everyone was busy in chatting.
On seeing me Divya exclaimed “Hey where you went I was searching for you?”
I neglected her. I went and sat in my place silently. Without waiting for my reply, she started writing and passing chits to Jerri. I lied down on my table and started scribbling in my note.
THIS CONTINUED FOR NEXT TWO HOURS……….
I decided not to go for lunch. Everybody went except me and Divya. Now Jerri became normal, while going for lunch he just gave a blank smile and left. I was confused with his reaction. It’s like Alice in Wonderland. Everything around me was a puzzle …
Divya compelled me to come for lunch. I told I am not feeling hungry. She told me if you come with me, after lunch I will show you the chits. Acting like I am not interested, I went for lunch. Unfortunately menu was Chicken Briyani, Chicken 65, and Fruit salad ice cream. It tempted me. My mind and stomach started to fight. My Mind said DON’T EAT. Stomach said EAT FIRST. Finally I decided to compromise my stomach first.
I made Divya to have lunch soon and rushed to our class to know the secret. We entered the class, no one was there. She slowly took all the chits and showed to me. I felt like fainting. I never expected such thing will happen …
Chapter 5-
I started to read the chits…….
Conversation in those chits:
Jerri : Divya I need to tell u something. I am in love with her (me). I don’t know how to express her. If I tell her means, I don’t know what will happen. I am in confused state. Tell me what to do …?
Divya : Jerrrrri…. What you are saying da. I can’t believe it. Don’t play da. Jerri are you serious …?
Jerri : Hey I am serious only. Should I express to her or should I wait. ?
Divya : No no wait da. We both haven’t talked about love or had a thought like this before. So I don’t know how she will react. Shall I show her the chits…?
Jerri : Nooooo plz….You know how fast my HEART BEATS… For past 2 weeks I am not able to concentrate in any work. I am behaving unusual da. I don’t know whether I am doing right or wrong. Instead of breaking my head. I decided to tell. But I am afraid now, I don’t know “How to tell her”. I did not even share this with my friends in hostel.
Divya : OK let me first try to find what’s there in her mind. Then we will decide what to do…k…?
Jerri : Hmmm…k fine…
Divya : What about your parents da …? Will they accept…?
Jerri : First she have to accept my Proposal. Then we will see that da.
Divya : No da what I am saying means you have to think about everything …Its life da. Not just a game.
Jerri : I believe in God…More than that I believe in my LOVE….I am having hope. Let’s see.
Divya : K I will talk today with her during study hour. But you should accept both positive and negative reply… you should not feel for it…K go and have lunch… Bye…
………………….? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?
“What reaction should I give now….? What I am feeling….? What should I reply…? How can I face Jerri…? If I say no will he accept it…? After that will he talk normal…? “
These were the questions running in my mind. I can’t find whether I was happy…angry…sad….excited…. But one thing confirmed… I became mad…Right now I can’t take any decision. I was in first year only. I was not having that many guts to love and all. I have to study, get good marks, and get placed in a good company. I should make my parent’s dream to come true, no place for love till that.
But he was a good friend. I can’t hurt him. I don’t know how he had that feeling. I like him very much because his character is very much similar to my father’s still I can’t able to accept it…. I was in my own world with lot of thinking in my mind. I was sitting absent-minded…
Suddenly someone called me….. I can able to hear that somebody is calling me but I am not in a position to answer or respond to them… Somebody near me shook hardly to make me to come back to the present world. It’s Divya only…. She gave me sign that mam was questioning me….
Mam made me to stand and started asking question from Electronic Circuits. I realized that time only that was in class. Everybody looked at me. I felt embarrassed. I don’t know what to do.
Oh my god…….. I prayed that, it must be a dream………..
Chapter 6-
But it wasn’t. Mam started scolding me. “ARE YOU DREAMING IN CLASS…? For that only you were coming to college huh? “
Whole class was silent. Tears filled my eyes. I was sensitive in nature , I can’t able to control my emotions. At that time Jerri called me in very low voice and told “Control yourself da… Be bold…”
After hearing that I got some confidence. I looked Divya’s notes and somehow managed the answer. Then mam warned me to listen the class and continued her lecture. After that also I was not able to concentrate. Physically present, mentally absent.
Divya consoled me and told me not to cry. I don’t know how 4 hours went. Time is exactly 3. Usually all days scholar had to go and catch bus within 10 minutes. Otherwise they would miss it. So they would rush by 2.55 pm itself to catch their respective area buses.
Divya and I started to move towards our hostel, she knew that I was in deep thinking about that incident… So she didn’t disturb me… we went in silence all the way to hostel. After reaching our room I lied down in bed, unknowingly I slept till study hour…
Then we rushed to classes for study hour, to forget the incident happened in class I started to involve myself in playing Dumb-c with my friends. We played nicely for an hour, I almost forgot everything what had happened that day in class. Meanwhile Divya called me “Shall we go to drink water”. But I denied.
Even after I denied she called me continuously so I understood that she wanted to talk something with me personally. Then I causally stood up from the bench and we both went outside the class and sat in stairs near our water cooler.
Conversation between us:
Divya : Hey what was in ur mind… why you were not listening the class properly.?
Me : (Sitting silent without any reply)
Divya : Are you going to tell me anything or not?
Me : No Divya. I was just thinking about what Jerri told you today.
Divya : Hey don worry for that . If you are Ok with his proposal means just say him “YES” or else just say him “NO”.
Me : After saying “NO” will he talk with me normally ah?… I don’t want to lose a wonderful friend like him in my life.
Divya : You itself just think and say. You need not to answer immediately, take some time and tell your reply . OK?
Me : Hmmm ok .
Divya : That’s good. Be yourself . Be cheerful as always. That only suits you well.
Me : Fine.
After study hour had dinner and slept well. Next day was fresh and good for me . I went to class early to complete my assignment. When I entered the class, I saw Jerri sitting in his place doing assignment. I don’t want to disturb him. I went and sat in my place silently and started doing my assignment. All started to arrive since class going to start.
We went to computer lab and came back to class. Jerri called Divya and asked “Why she (me) is sitting silently without talking to anyone, usually she would greet me with Good Morning if she saw me in class while coming in morning but today it was not as usual”.Divya explained him the conversation took place between me and her yesterday in the study hour.
Jerri sat in silence for some time and told “Divya, tell her to be normal. It wasn’t good if she was sitting silent like that”. Divya convinced “Everything would become normal soon. Dont worry”. That time one guy came with some sheet in his hand inside our class. Our staff took that sheet and started to read “You’re Model Exam Time Table as follows…”
After a week, our Model Exam starts…………..
Usually we all would start to study before the day of the exam. Likewise all started for preparing exam. I too tried but I can’t concentrate. I cried and was lonely all the time…
All my friends came and asked “What happened..? You was not normal, and got some change in your behavior…” I told that some problems in my home… I don’t know whether they got convinced or not. Anyhow I made them to believe me.
All the time simply I kept the book opened and thinking about Jerri………… What I am going to tell him. Should I accept his proposal or reject ………. God only should guide me .
Chapter 7-
Everybody was studying except me. My mind doesn’t allow me to study. I was upset. I would share all the things to my mom and dad. But, I felt hesitate to reveal that matter. I don’t know how they would react about it. Even I can’t able to share my feelings with my friends, because I was scared that they would think anything bad about me.
I decided to share my thoughts and feelings with God. So I started to write a letter………..
Dear God,
You gave me good parents, good friends, good health… You guided me in all situations. You helped me whenever I got fed up…
You were with me when I was in trouble and when I was happy…
Till now I faced all the obstacles in my life. But now I was distracted.
I didn’t even study a single line for my model exam. How I gonna write the exams.
Because of me, my parents should not suffer…
Please help me to overcome this situation. I don’t know whether I love him or not. But I don’t want to lose him in my life.
Whatever happens, give me courage to face the entire situation. Please show me the correct path.
Yours Loving Child……………
Then I felt somewhat relaxed after sharing my situation to god. Then I opened my book, started to study for exam but I can’t able to concentrate more than 15 minutes. My mind was not in a stable state to study properly….
Next Day………………. Model Exam……………..
Usually during the model exams I (me), Divya and Jerri will study together before going to the exam hall. But that day I don’t get courage to study together with them. So I sat idle in one corner and went into exam hall earlier itself because I know I didn’t even read a single page…. So obviously I got OBT (Open Book Test)…. I didn’t even study for that model exam……
My friends started to scold me “Why you were behaving odd these days. Not studying properly, failed in all exam….”
I don’t know how to convince them.
A week after, teachers distributed the exam papers. All staff knows that I was good scoring student, they didn’t scold me instead they asked me the reason. I told them that “I wasn’t feeling well so I can’t able to write the exam properly and I promised them I would do next exams properly”. They advised not to repeat again and take care of my health.
Our College Cultural was arriving a week ahead, so everyone was busy in doing decorations, and planned to conduct events like Mehandi, Monoacting, Singing, Dancing Competition, Collage etc… That changed my mind. So we all started to enjoy each and every event, almost I forgot everything happened and I was in my track of enjoyment…
On the Cultural Day, we enjoyed the celebration and had a delightful feast during lunch… On that day in our college hostel after dinner i.e. 8:30 pm, they played movie in OPEN AIR THEATRE for both boys and girls together… Girls occupied one side of the open air theatre and other side was occupied by boys…
All were very much excited “What movie they going to play????” I was sitting with my group of friends…. Boys started to shout “Operator start the movie soon” like that. My eyes were searching Jerri in that huge boy’s crowd he wore specs with silver color frame. After a long search, I saw him standing with our class boys.
Tamil movie “Bheema” started. All settled in their places. Jerri and his friends occupied first row of chairs. I was sitting in the third row in girl’s side. I saw Jerri for a long time without my knowledge, my friends shouted for the introduction of “Vikram and Trisha” then only I realized and started to watch the movie. Side by side I watched Jerri too.
When I turned to the Theatre Screen… I saw Trisha was doing the same what I was doing earlier “Trisha was sitting in theatre and watching Vikram and went for duet song in dreams” that was a coincident, from that minute the duet song for Vikram and Trisha was my favorite song too………. The Duet song was “Mudhal Mazhai Ennai Nanaithadey” (First rain drenched me).
Movie was over. Everybody started to move to their rooms. Divya called me, but I lied Senior called me to her room, as she was alone in her room and went to the balcony. It was a full moon day. Very clear sky. Chill breeze. Climate was too good. It made my mind to relax. My heart was beating like anything and I felt, it would come out. If that situation continued means, surely I would become mad. I decided to put full stop for my confusion……..
So………………..????????
The next day Feb 14 I decided to accept his (Jerri) proposal!!!!!!!!!. I was enthusiastic and full of energy… Went to class early, I told Divya about my decision. She was happy toooooooooooo. I took one paper from my notebook and wrote only one line in that “Mudhal Mazhai Ennaiyum Nanaithadhu…” (I too drenched by your love rain).
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