AN UNFORGETTABLE TRIP

Funny Short Story – AN UNFORGETTABLE TRIP
Photo credit: lisasolonynko from morguefile.com

It had seemed easy at first, but even after half an hour of wandering through the streets of New York, I had not come across a restaurant. Finally I spotted one two blocks away and walked towards it, ignoring other New Yorkers who were ignoring me –at least I thought so- busy even at lunch time. As I made my slow way to the glass doors I observed that there were only a few people in there. Strange! Its lunchtime. Maybe the restaurant’s not that good. The last thought was disturbing and unwelcome, and I dismissed it out of my mind.

I settled myself in the nearest corner and the waiter arrived. He was smiling a smile, one that reached his eyes. He was a little amused, and it was strange for me. Maybe because I had the ‘All-the-waiters-fake-welcoming-smiles’ bug. I ordered ham and omelet, not sure anymore if the rest would be delicious. The waiter disappeared behind a curtain leaving me all by myself.

TWENTY MINUTES LATER…

I was chewing my way through the surprisingly delicious food when I heard them. They were fighting. A woman in pink plum dress and a guy dressed impeccably in black and white were arguing about something.

“But I was gone only five minutes! How is this possible?” She snarled.

The man in the black suit-white shirt-black tie shrugged, indicating that he did not know anything.

“I’m calling the cops.” She practically shouted, red-angry.

FIVE MINUTES LATER…

Two cops arrived just as I had finished. They announced: NO ONE WILL MOVE upon entering. I should probably get out. I thought to myself. I paid the bill, the tip and was just leaving when one of the officers shouted.

“You! Lady. Over here.”

“Is there a problem officer?” I replied as politely as I could.

“Yes. This lady over here claims to have lost her ring. She says it was in her purse which she didn’t fetch all the way to the restroom. But when she came back and, it was missing.” He narrated.

“I am sorry officer, but I don’t know anything about it.” I kept my voice polite and understanding.

“Can- May I check your purse?” he asked. He was suspecting me. But then he’s a cop. It’s what he does.

“Of course” I said coolly hoping this would end soon.

To this day, I’ve convinced myself, for I saw it with my very own eyes. The police officer himself put a ring in my purse. And couple of moments later, pretended to fish it out. I was awestruck, dumbfounded, speechless… Am I in India? Corrupt cops? Here? I asked myself.

“Lady you’re under arrest for theft. You have the right to remain silent blah blah blah…” He trailed off, grinning mischievously. Due to some reason my voice was stuck in my throat and I couldn’t speak until he slapped one his cuffs onto my wrist.

“No” I shouted. This is not happening. I am dreaming. I promised myself. I was dumbfounded by the sheer brutality of reality. This is a set-up. I was sure I was to be raped and killed, or brought to trial or at least fined. That’s what one learns by reading and watching crime and espionage. But what followed was unbelievable.

The officer, still grinning, amused at something, said this:

“Calm down, ma’am. Just listen to me. For your theft charges, you’re charged guilty, and –”

“Guilty?” I snapped. How could he? “I’m innocent!”

“You’re charged-” he continued, ignoring me. “A dance with me.”

My jaw must have touched the floor as I stared at him open-mouthed. A dance? Seriously?

He removed the cuffs and put an arm on my waist, his other hand clasping mine as he started dancing slowly. My legs were stiff, but I managed –poorly, though- to dance.

Ninety six breaths later, he let go of me. I was bewildered, not sure what emotions I felt or should’ve felt. I was dumbstruck, awed. Suddenly everyone started laughing. Other people rolled into the room. Everyone was laughing. Then they explained.

It was all a prank. They had cameras all over the place for some stupid TV show ONLY FOR LAUGHS GAGS… I was speechless, not knowing what emotions were mirrored on my face. But it was funny. Strangely, I found myself laughing, and I still do every time I recall my trip…

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