True Love – A Love Story

It was half past eleven when I came home fully drenched in the heavy rain. It was a tiresome day and I badly needed to rest my back, I entered the house and saw the entire living room drowned in silence and darkness, never had it been so before, I was also hungry so I looked out for Maria, she was not to be seen anywhere. I called out to her but I got no response so I switched on the living room lights and found my wife fast asleep there on the coach. I didn’t want to disturb her so I served my dinner changed over to the night gown and went to bed. As soon as I hit the bed I was fast asleep.

It was the mild rays of the morning sun that woke me up. I looked at the watch beside me it showed me that I had slept beyond time and I was getting late for work. As I was doing my own business I always had the option of logging in at my own time. I woke up lazily and called out for Maria but there was no response. I went down to look out for her; she had already left for work, leaving the breakfast on the table. I felt unusual something like never before, but then I thought that she did not want to disturb me so she had not waked me up. Not a day had passed without me looking at her in the morning, but today in our 5 years of marriage life was the day when I could not see her in the morning. It hurt me made me feel left out and lonely, I missed her, a feel of sadness crept over me.

I called her as soon as I finished my breakfast but still there was no response it hurt me even more. I didn’t know what had happened to her suddenly. I left for office and was so gloomy the entire day that I vented out my anger to my colleagues. I kept calling her but she didn’t respond, I badly wanted to meet her ,I couldn’t wait for the evening to approach. Every five minutes I looked at the watch the time seemed to move slowly. I have heard people say that “When you miss someone even seconds seem to move like ages” and now I really felt it was so true. I missed her like never before; I loved her deeply and madly. I waited for the clock to strike 4:00 pm so that I could rush home and meet her. I drove fast from office like a guy in his teenage in full excitement as if I was going to meet her for the first time.

I rushed home and banged open the door wishing she would be there to receive me with her smile and her usual kiss that she gave me when I came home, but to my surprise my 3year old daughter came running calling out “papa papa chocki chocki” I gently lifted her in my arms and kissed her on her cheeks and gave her the chocolate and asked her where mama was, she pointed towards the kitchen with her tiny fingers. I ran inside like a happy dog that had received a bone. I saw her busy in the kitchen making supper for us. Slowly I went and hugged her from behind and kissed her on her neck which she always loved. She used to tell me that she could feel my warmth like that, but today something unexpected happened she just pushed me away from her, I was shattered by this. I asked her what had happened she told me she is not well. I was worried, I asked her again what had happened but she didn’t give me a satisfactory answer.

Days moved on and she also started moving away from her, I missed her more and more and didn’t know the reason why she was doing that. she started going to work early and come back late, I was shattered completely, to come out of this I started working more, then I felt I had to ask her the reason for her change. I spoke to a close friend of mine who was actually a mutual friend of Maria’s to know if she had told her anything, but it was unfortunate that she had not told her also anything. I was disappointed and decided to talk to her about it.

I entered home late as usual thinking my wife would have slept but as I opened the door I saw her sitting in the living room waiting for me, I felt happy that everything had come back to normal I wanted to run towards her and hug her, I wanted to lean on her shoulders and burst out crying, I didn’t want to know what had happened to her I was happy that she was waiting for me. Tears filled my eyes as I saw her walk towards me after a long time; I noticed that there was pain in her eyes also.She had become weak of the over work, I felt she was undergoing stress and that was why she didn’t have time to spend with me.

She came close took my bag and told me that she wanted to talk to me. I was on cloud nine I wanted to lift her high in the sky and kiss her but before that she moved forward and sat on the coach and also signaled me to do so. I followed her slowly and sat beside her and held her hand in mine but she withdrew it slowly.

I knew something was wrong I could feel that our marriage was breaking; I asked her gently with a choked voice that what had happened to her and why she was avoiding me. She was silent for few seconds that few seconds killed me like anything. I asked with tears in my eyes “Maria do you love me?” she was silent again. It killed me she couldn’t say that she loved me. Tears rolled down my cheeks I was hurt. Slowly she looked into my eyes and told me, “David I think I don’t love you anymore, I need a divorce”. I was shattered completely. Was this what I had to listen from the one I had loved more than anyone else in this world, I didn’t want to hear a word from her anymore. I woke up and moved to my room without talking a word to her.

I lay down on my bed thinking whether I had heard it right. I couldn’t believe my ears. My mind was not ready to accept it, but yes it was true she didn’t love me anymore. I burst out crying, I cried as loud as possible but she was not there beside me to wipe my tears, yes it was true she dint love me anymore. I couldn’t sleep a wink the whole night, I cried ,cried and cried.

Morning I saw her beside my bed, no she was not sharing the bed with me for the past few days but today she was sitting beside me holding a paper in her hand. It was the divorce papers; she was keen on getting a divorce. I hated it, I avoided looking at her and woke up and went on with my bed coffee standing in the balcony looking at the fresh rays of the morning sun. I felt heavy at heart as if someone was poking it with a thousand knives at a time. My head was heavy after all the crying I had done last night. I stood there in deep thoughts.

 

It was the first day of college 9years back. I always wanted to be an engineer from the time I was a kid and it was always my ambition. I got admitted into the most prestigious colleges of Mumbai. I am basically from Lucknow and the city life especially a one like Mumbai was new to me. My dad had come to drop me in college as I was the only son they had never been away from me and this was the first time I was going to stay away from home. I was born to my parents after a very longtime after their marriage so I was also a very precious baby to them. I could see a drop of tear in the corner of my dad’s eyes as he waved goodbye to me. I missed them a lot. But then I had come here to study and fulfill my dreams of becoming an engineer, a civil engineer. I walked timidly into the hostel room for the first time I was into a different world all together.

Everything seemed new to me, I was born to a rich family and we had servants doing all the jobs for us and now I had to do everything on my own which seemed a bit difficult to me but still I had to. I had two roommates named krish and Alex. Krish was a studious guy and didn’t like other things other than studying and he always stood first in class. Alex was just the opposite he was a jovial kind of person and loved to play around a lot. I was quite an introvert kind of person and didn’t talk much to people and I was also very shy. I have never been in the company of girls as I always studied in a boy’s school and this was the first time that I was into a college where I had to study amidst the girls. This very thought brought me shivers. We introduced each other to all the hostel mates and as always in every college we too had to undergo the most terror part of college life, ragging. We were ragged by our seniors but it was in a friendly way so we all became good friends.

It was the first day of college and we had to report to the auditorium at 8.30 in the morning for the inaugural function for the first years. The students from the entire department were present there. Me along with my roommates moved to the auditorium. It was the day I met Maria 15^th of September 2002. I was standing near the door when my friends were searching for a place for us. Suddenly someone hurriedly rushed from behind and pushed me on the floor, I turned around to see who it was; it was a girl standing behind me scared whether I would scold her. But I was spell bound looking at her. She was the most beautiful girl that the earth could ever have. She wore a light pink salwar with her hair flying with the wind, her silver coloured earning was a perfect blend with her fair complexed skin. Her lips shone like a star she had put a light pink gloss which added to her beauty. She was simple yet the most beautiful. She said I am sorry I was late so had to rush in and then she lended her hand to me to stand up.. Her hands were as soft as cotton, I wished I could continue holding it but she withdrew her hand as soon I stood up. How I wished I could fall again. If she was lending her hand I was ready to fall form great heights. She then shook hands with me and said sorry again and left.

I didn’t know if I was attracted to her because there was something in her or it was because she was the first girl who has spoken to me I didn’t know but definitely I had fallen for her. Her fragrance disturbed me now and then, her cute eyes and lovely smile came over again and again, I was thoroughly disturbed by her beauty, she was definitely an angel born on earth.

I had not seen her after that nor did I know her name or which department she belonged to. I was really disturbed, months passed on like this and it was our exam time so now I had become serious and left the destiny to god. To my surprise on the first day of my exam I got the most beautiful gift, she was sitting in the same bench of mine and writing the exam. I entered the exam hall and she saw me there and recognized she gave me that cute smile; I fell for her all over again. I sat beside her and peeped into her Department identity card in bold it read “Maria Thomas Kuruvilla, Btech computer Science” it gave me a sigh of relief now that at least I knew which department she was. I saw her and admired her through the entire exam I couldn’t resist myself I wanted to kiss her on her cheeks because I felt that she was my own now. Yes!!! I had fallen in love with her. I wanted her in my life all through my tough and happy times, I wanted to sleep on her lap and die on her lap.

Exams were over and now I was deeply in love with her and I missed seeing her. I was shy to even walk down to that department and look out for her. Then I decided that Alex was the right one who would help me out in this, I told him about it he was so happy that he hugged me and told me that he would help me in this matter. It was then that I got introduced to Maria’s friend Susan. She helped me meet Maria; she took me to her department and introduced me to Maria.  She said “Hey don’t I know you”??? I loved that a lot, she remembers me that gave a sense of joy.

Every day after college me along with Alex would go and meet Susan and slowly Susan started bringing Maria along knowing that I was accompanying Alex only to meet Maria. Maria was an awesome girl, we both shared a similar taste and that made me like her more. She started liking my company and I started enjoying being with her. We spoke to each other a lot and it was the first time I ever spoke a girl so much and it was only Maria. I loved her, I loved her like anything and I knew that she loved me too.

It was the most romantic evening ever in my life; we had decided to meet in the park nearby for the weekend. I sat on the bench waiting for her, the sun was setting and the birds were returning to their nests after their tiresome day, the winds was cool and the skies were clear showing no signs of a shower that made me feel really good. I thought can life be more beautiful, yes it could be as I saw her walking towards me, and Life is beautiful only when she is beside me. She came and sat beside me she looked like an angel as always. She smiled at me I could feel the happiness in her. I looked into her eyes lovingly for the first time, I don’t know why but I felt I must open my heart to her at that point of time.

She looked at me surprisingly and asked “David is everything fine”?? I said no, she was shocked and asked me worriedly

“ Any problem you can share it with me I am always there to help you out”

I kept silent for a few minutes then looked into her eyes and said “Yes I have a serious problem and only you can help me out with it”

She was perplexed her expression showed me that she wanted to know what it was but she didn’t utter a word. I held her hands in mine and said:-

“I have lost myself in you, the day you held my hands in yours I was lost, I have fallen for you deeply, madly and emotionally, I want you by my side today and every day until my last breath, I dream of you, you are the one for me and I need you with me to lean on your shoulders, to hear you laugh, to listen to your talks, I am nothing without you so please don’t leave my hands, I can feel your warmth within me. And if I die it would be on your lap only. Its a promise from heaven”

I don’t know how I told that but I had told it and she was silent with no reaction. Then I again said if your answer is going to be negative then I don’t want to hear it. I will live with the thought that I had loved you and that is more than enough for me.

She said “Stupid will you let me talk” I was scared to listen to what she was going to say. I turned my face away and listened to what she was going to tell.

She said “you dumbo did it take so long for you to tell this I have been waiting to hear this for a long time.

I was shocked did I hear it right. I turned towards her and asked her what she said. She told me again “ I love you” I asked her to repeat it more than 20 times for me. It was the most wonderful word I could hear from her. I was in cloud nine. I jumped, I ran around the park, singing, dancing and what not I didn’t do. People around me looked at me as if I had gone mad. She told me don’t do all that people are watching but I didn’t pay heed to that cause the most happiest man would do only that.

She told me that we had only one more year to complete and that we would talk about this only after we complete studies and then get settled. I agreed to it but as usual we used to meet each other like before but never spoke about our love. I didn’t feel bad for it cause being with her was more than enough for me. Days moved on and it was our placement time, I didn’t need a job as I was going to carry on with my dad’s construction company. But she badly needed a job, she stood outside the interview room. Tata consultancy had come to recruit from our college and she was awaiting her turn I stood beside her holding her hands to give her the strength, she was really tensed. She was called she went to the door and looked at me. I lifted my hands and gave her a thumbs up symbolising an all the best to her. She smiled at me and moved in. I sat on the chair closed my eyes and prayed hard so that she could succeed.  After a long wait she came out in all cheers. She came running and hugged me for the first time. She had got the job. I was very happy. Now we were going to move to the next stage of our life, we would be talking to our parents soon and get married soon. Our joy knew no bounds.

Our exams were over and by now most of my friends had got a job and it was the time for parting. It was our farewell day. We stood in the same auditorium where we had our inaugral program. Maria and I stood in the place where we had met on the first day. Holding each other’s hands.

After the farewell program we sat on the bench outside the hostel where we used to meet every day during college days. Now we both were going to part from each other she had to go back to Delhi and me back to Lucknow. By birth she was a malayalee but was settled in Delhi along with her parents. Her father was from the army and therefore he showed the same strictness at home too. This was the first time we spoke about our future life as we had promised.

She leaned on my shoulders and we looked up at the star lighted sky. The moon was bright. She told me that she would talk to her parents as soon as she goes home and then we can get engaged soon. We spoke and spoke till late night and dreamt a lot. Morning both left eachother with heavy heart to our respective places.

I missed her a lot along my way back to Lucknow. All I had along with me is her memories and the dreams of our future. I reached Lucknow early in the morning, I saw my dad awaiting me in the station he had missed me more than anything, I hugged him and we went home. After a longtime we had breakfast together, I could feel that my dad had become old then I saw him last time. I told him that I would take over his business now and that he could take rest . My dad was happy, he was emotional he went into the kitchen and I heard him tell mom “Our son has grown up” I could feel the pride in his voice.

My cell rang, during those times cell phones were only getting popular, but since I was out in the hostel I owned a phone of my own. I ran to pick the call expecting Maria’s call. As expected it was her’s. I picked up the call and said “I Love u, I miss u sweetheart”. There was no response from her. I asked her “Maria you there? Is everything fine?” she started to cry. I broke down, I was worried, I asked her to calm down and tell me what had happened.

She said the most devastating words that I have ever heard in my life. She was weeping badly. I could feel her sadness I knew she was in great trouble. So I asked her again what had happened. She said “I am getting engaged tomorrow”

I was shocked, I broke down. I could not believe how this could happen but yes it was true her dad had chosen a malayalee guy for her and it was only when she reached home she was informed about it. Now she had no option of talking about me at home and I was sure he was not going to accept me as I was a roman catholic and she was a Syrian Christian. I was shattered totally.

I did not know what to tell her. She told me that she was going to leave her home and come to me in Lucknow. I could not say no to her as I had no life without her but I could not take her also as I did not know what my parents would say, but then I told her to come to me and she cut the call. Now I was tensed I did not know what I was going to do. So I felt I should talk to my dad about it. With great hesitation I told him what had happened. I expected him to scold me like any other dad but my dad was the most wonderful one in the world he loved me so much that he understood what I was undergoing and told me to bring her home and my dad would get us married. I jumped with joy hugged my dad and kissed him.

I called her immediately and told her to come to me. She accepted then we decided the time of leaving and how she would come out of her house. And that I would receive her in the station. I could not sleep the whole night excited about her arrival. Early morning the train was to arrive by 9.00 but I got ready and left by 5:00 so that she didn’t have to wait in the station alone.

I couldn’t wait to see her. As the train arrived I rushed in crowd in search of her. And then I saw her get off from one of the compartments along with her mom. She had told her mom and her mom knew about her dad and had come in support of her daughter. If her father came to know that her mother had helped her in this then he would kill her but she didn’t care about it, she only wanted her daughter to be happy, her father was getting her married to some rich merchant who was 10 years older than her. Her mother had refused it for a long time but he was not ready to listen and therefore came along with her daughter to handover her daughter to me. I was in tears when I heard all this. Her mom became very emotional she told me “My daughter is the most precious gift, and the only thing that makes me happy in my life. I can’t see a tear in her eyes because I have never been happy with my husband and I don’t want my daughter to suffer like me so I am handing over my life to you take good care of her. I know you will, and she wiped her tears with the side of her pallu. I felt very sad, then mom and daughter had a very emotional session where both hugged each other and then finally bid goodbye to each other.I took her home to my parents they happily welcomed her to my house and we had a grand wedding on 06-06-2006.

 

I could feel tears rolling down my eyes as I looked at the calendar it was our wedding day today and she wanted a divorce as her gift on our anniversary,the very thought broke me again. I cried again profusely. I know she loves me a lot and that’s why she had left her family and come to me but what had happened now?? I cried and cried. I didn’t come out of my room the whole day nor have anything but my wife didn’t ask me about it nor did she have anything but she had left for work as usual leaving me all alone with the partner of sadness and tears along with me. I badly wanted a change so decided to leave home for a few days.

I called Alex who was always by my side and saw our love bloom and blossom. He was shocked to hear all this and called me home. I left for Mumbai leaving a letter for my wife to read when she came from work. I wrote:-

Darling

I have always loved you and still love you. I accept I have been a bit busy with my business and its development that I could not see our marriage breaking.  My love for you has never changed; I still love you the way I used to when we were in college. But I never knew that everything in our life would change so much. I miss you so much dear I cannot live without you and that’s the reason why I can’t divorce you so am leaving you alone for a few days in an expectation that you will change your mind.

In deep expectation..

With love your husband

I reached Mumbai and went to Alex’s home but nothing distracted me from her thoughts I loved her so much and did not want to miss her in my life. I had been busy with my business and did not have time to spend with my family. I regretted it. I wanted to tell her that I loved her more than before and can’t live without her. I loved her more when she gave me the world’s most precious gift my daughter. I had promised her that I would be the best dad for our daughter but I couldn’t keep up the word maybe that’s why she wanted to divorce me. I was confused; Alex tried to cheer me by his jovial talks. He had not changed since the college days, but nothing gave me happiness expect my Maria but she didn’t want me anymore. That thought broke me again and again. I wanted to end my life but I had promised her that I would take care of my daughter if anything happened to her.

Then finally I decided if the divorce was giving her happiness then I was ready to do it for her after all to see her happy is why I married her. So I rushed home took the first flight to Lucknow to sign the divorce papers. As soon as I got down in the airport I felt something unusual the same feel which I had got when she told me that she wanted a divorce. I sadly took a taxi home and got down in front of my house it was dark as the sun had already set. Our house looked gloomy as if it was also weeping for our separation. My parents had passed away 2 years back. My dad had died a year after our marriage and my mom 2 years back.

I said to myself “Dad I miss you if you were here I would not have faced all this in my life, dad the faith you had in our relation Is not there anymore, we are going to get separated”.

I slowly and hesitantly walked into my house, my daughter was not there. The house was dark, I switched on the light of the living room there was no one there. The entire house was in silence, I called out for Maria but there was no response. I climbed the stairs weeping and was telling her “Sweetheart I have always wanted to keep you happy and therefore never refused whatever you asked for, you have asked me for a divorce so I am ready to give it for you if that keeps you happy”. Saying so I entered the bedroom which was dark again, I switched on the lights and saw Maria lying on our bed after a long time, I called out to her but she didn’t respond.

I went close to her slowly, she was lying there as beautiful as ever, she was hugging a photo of mine. When I saw this I broke into tears I knew she loved me but then why did she want to divorce. I went next to her ears and called out softly but she didn’t respond. I touched her, her body was cold I was shocked. No I did not want to see what I was seeing in front of my eyes. I touched her again but it was the same she was cold. It took me few seconds to realise that she had left me all alone in this world. She had died.

I screamed and I shouted I took her in my arms, kissed her many times but she didn’t wake up to tell me “David you’re disturbing my sleep”. That’s what she always said when I kissed her in her sleep. NO!!! It cannot be true how can she leave me like that and go. I cried thinking that she died because she didn’t want to live with me. I cursed myself for not giving her a divorce. I slowly lifted the photo frame from her hands which she lay hugging. A paper fell from that. I opened it slowly. It read:-

David,

I know how much you’re suffering now when I am avoiding you, but I really wanted to do it because I knew I was suffering from cancer and that I would die in few days. If I tell you this I know you can’t take of pain of thinking of departing me so I just wanted to teach you to live a life without me. I was dying inside when each day I was moving away from you. But then I know you have no life without me, now that you have learnt to live a life without me, I am leaving our doll along with you to take care of her. I have sent her to Susan’s house so that she never knows that mama won’t come back. I love you David and I know I am not lucky enough to live with you. If there is a next birth I want to live with you as your wife and love you deeper and stronger than now. I love you David and promise me that you will never cry, cause you know I cannot see you cry. Remember the promise you gave me, be the best dad for our daughter and never let her miss her mama. Always tell her that mama is watching her. Love you and sorry for all the pain I gave you……….

With love yours and only yours

Maria

I broke down when I read this. I had mistaken my Maria, she loved me more than I had imagined. She did not want to see me suffer in the thought of leaving her but she suffered all by herself without even letting me know about it. And during her last days I was not with her to share her pain. It hurt me like anything. I held her in arms and told her “Only if you had told me all this before  I would not have left you suffer all alone like this. Maria I love you, I did not know you loved me so much.

I cried and cried thinking how much she loved me and the pain she must have undergone during her last days. But then I had promised her that I would take care of our daughter, so I had to go fetch my daughter and also call over everyone for her funeral.

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