The Man in her Life

The golden yellow flames of the nuptial fire beckoned.

Kavya’s mother stepped forward to adjust the dark maroon ‘palla’ of the saree slipping off Kavya’s head – after all, it wouldn’t do for a demure, Indian bride to be caught without the ‘palla’ covering her head at all times. Whatever would the groom’s family think?

The mood of the day was definitely ‘maroon’ – Kavya’s maroon sari, matching maroon bindi, dark maroon, elaborately, traced mehndi patters on her hands and feet(which had taken a good six hours to put on!) and maroon and yellow decorations all around the mandap.

All of Kavya’s family was busy sneaking surreptitious glances at her groom – tall and handsome Lalit – and wondering how in God’s name Kavya had managed to net such a catch. Kavya? Our Kavya? Our poor, unfortunate child Kavya?

The only thing going through Kavya’s mind at the moment was: ‘Being with him made her feel as though her soul had escaped from the narrow confines of her island country into the vast, extravagant spaces of his’.

Kavya. Kavya Shankar. The only daughter of her parents – Maya and Naveen Shankar.

The daughter, who was somehow never good enough for her father and had lived her entire life being told this in every possible way!

Kavya was the elder of two children in the Shankar household. She had a younger brother, Arjun, who was the quintessential ‘apple’ of her father’s eye.

Ever since the time she remembered, her father’s world revolved around Arjun and his antics. Arjun, the golden boy, the coveted male, who would carry forth the precious family legacy.

Naveen Shankar was always clear that his first child HAD to be a boy – he and his wife were a young, healthy couple – college sweethearts – who married with their parents’ blessings and began a life together.

When Maya was pregnant with their first child, Naveen was over the moon and acted like any other terrified, expectant parent – he accompanied her to all her doctor appointments, made sure she ate healthy and fussed over her like a mother hen! Maya found the entire experience endearing, yet hilarious. Though she was happy with either a son or a daughter, she prayed it would be a boy, knowing how much it meant to Naveen.

And then the unthinkable happened – she gave birth to a baby girl. A pretty baby girl – with smooth skin, large almond shaped eyes and a lovely smile – but a baby GIRL, nonetheless.

Overnight, it was as if a veil had descended upon Naveen – he acted as though nothing in his life had changed! He refused to pick up the baby, play with her or make her a part of his life. When friends and relatives visited them with congratulatory messages, it was Maya to whom they turned – simply because Naveen made it very clear with his behaviour and comments, that he didn’t think the birth of their daughter was anything to celebrate.

Maya was shattered at Naveen’s indifference towards baby Kavya (the name she chose when Naveen refused to even have a naming ceremony for the baby) and tried to bring him around in every way she knew – she requested, pleaded, cajoled, screamed and fought with him – to make him see reason. But all in vain! Naveen didn’t budge an inch and it was then that Maya realized that she would have to be both Mother and Father to Kavya. She vowed to herself that she would love their daughter enough for both of them and never allow Kavya to feel inadequate in her life.

Alas, if only Maya knew how difficult it would be for her to keep her word. Especially, once Arjun, Kavya’s baby brother, came along four years later.

Naveen was delighted and acted as if Arjun was the only child he had.

While he had never picked up or played with baby Kavya, he couldn’t seem to get enough of Arjun – he constantly picked him up (giving him to Maya only to be fed) and played all sorts of baby games with him. Arjun’s crib was placed in Kavya’s room and while Kavya barely had a few dolls to play with, Arjun’s end of the room overflowed with toys and books.

Kavya too began to see the change in her father’s mood, but tried not to let it affect her. She loved baby Arjun with all her heart and was a loving, protective elder sister to him. As soon as she got back from school, she would hurriedly finish her evening snack and homework and then play with Arjun till bed-time. She constantly thought up new ways to amuse him and loved to tickle and make him laugh. Arjun, too, responded whole heartedly – he already seemed to love his elder sister and looked forward to playing with her.

But Kavya was scared of holding him when her father was around. He would throw her dirty looks and tell her she was too old to play with Arjun, that she would hurt him and that she should stay away from him, because he was a tiny, precious boy.

On being chided so, Kavya would run to Maya and put her head in her mother’s lap. Maya’s heart broke whenever she heard Naveen’s angry words, but she had long since stopped saying anything to him. She channeled all her energy into comforting Kavya and reassuring her that she was a beautiful, loved child.

Naveen’s behavior continued way into the formative years of Kavya’s and Arjun’s life.

Nothing Kavya did was ever good enough for Naveen – if she won a medal at school, he told her it must have been by mistake. If she was asked to perform in the school play, his response was “Are they crazy? What makes them think you can act?” If she helped raise money for the local charity, it was because “people feel sorry looking at your sad face and can’t help contributing”.

When Arjun was old enough to understand his father’s hurtful comments, he was filled with anger towards him. He failed to understand how the father, who was so loving towards him, could treat his sister in such an unforgivable manner. He kept pestering Maya for the reason, but she didn’t know what to say. Though she was still mad at Naveen, she didn’t want their children to think badly of him.

Arjun was also angry at Kavya, failing to understand how she could put up with such abuse, without saying a word. That Kavya, his beautiful and caring elder sister, who had a kind word and a lovely smile for everyone, went through so much verbal abuse at the hands of their father, made his blood boil. He took it upon himself to speak up for his timid sister and often got into verbal arguments with Naveen, which many a time Maya had to break up.

The situation continued until both children grew up. Arjun – the confident, outspoken one. And Kavya – the shy, quiet one with almost no self esteem. Years of verbal abuse took their toll on her; to the point that she believed she was good for nothing and just a burden to her family.

And then something magical happened – at 23 years of age, Kavya met Lalit. She was working as a front office executive for one of the premier city hotels (“all you’ll get to do is answer the phone all day”, was how Naveen had responded to her Offer Letter). But Kavya had already made up her mind to accept the offer. She had started to realize that she was old enough now to lead a life of her own.

She was equally reserved at work and did not speak much to her colleagues. All of them gave up one by one, proclaiming her to either be too proud of her good looks (she had blossomed into a beauty by then) or think herself way above them. None of these was further from the truth – no one saw through her painfully shy exterior and tried to get to know the person within.

No one, except Lalit Kashyap, that is.

He was her colleague at work and was struck by her beauty. Large almond shaped eyes, long thick jet black hair, which she always wore open and a shy smile – all of these captivated his heart – and Lalit fell head over heels in love with Kavya.

At first, Kavya was totally unaware of how she caused Lalit’s heart to stop whenever she passed by him. She would lift her shy, innocent eyes up and make animated gestures while talking to hotel guests, and Lalit would be ready to slay dragons for her.

Eventually, she started noticing him, but was too shy to speak to him. She thought him to be a good looking, confident young man and didn’t even notice he had lost his heart to her.

Unlike the others, Lalit saw through her shyness and made various attempts to speak to her. He was always doing thoughtful things for her – leaving little notes on her desk that made her smile, saving her a seat in the hotel lunch room and even handling her telephone calls, if she was busy with a guest.

Gradually, they became good friends and Kavya began to open up to him. She told him of the years of abuse she had suffered at the hands of her father, surprising herself for sharing such intimate details of her life. Lalit was horrified at the stories he heard and without even meeting him, began to resent her father. Though he was already in love with her, Kavya earned his new found respect for choosing to work and build a life for herself.

But Lalit was not immune to the scars he saw in Kavya – her low self esteem, her unawareness of her own beauty and the effect it had on others and her perennial shyness. He took it upon himself to become her friend and help her become more confident of herself. Slowly, they forged a bond and it wasn’t long before they became best friends.

Kavya, who was totally unaware of Lalit’s love for her was stunned the day he proposed marriage – she had not seen it coming! She panicked and Lalit noticed this. In order not to scare her or ruin their friendship, he asked her to think about it and then let him know her decision. He made it clear he wasn’t going anywhere and would always be there for her as a friend, no matter what she decided.

Kavya thought about it and to Lalit’s immense delight said ‘yes!’ a week later. She realized that Lalit had all the qualities she had ever wanted in a soul mate – he loved and supported her, boosted her self esteem and protected her from the harsh world.

Predictably, Naveen threw a fit on hearing about Lalit – he was a gold-digger, he didn’t love Kavya, what did he see in her – and so on and so forth.

But for once, Kavya stood up for the man in her life, surprising everyone at home.

And now 2 months later, they were in front of the holy fire, waiting to take their ‘pheras’.

Kavya smiled, thinking of their love story, and slowly brought her mind back to the present.

After all, the golden yellow flames of the nuptial fire beckoned….

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