Love Short Story – I Just Want To See You Smile
Photo credit: sssh221 from morguefile.com
“The awesome Threesome” read the caption on the picture. I smiled. Hung on the wall, was a picture of the three of us, Varun, Raghav and me from about a year ago. The Sharp ring of a phone brought me back to reality. It was Varun’s phone. He was in the washroom. The slightly over-possessive girlfriend in me took over, and I inched cautiously towards his phone lying unattended on the table. “Raghav” flashed the name on the phone. I heaved a sigh of relief, glad it wasn’t Monica and immediately felt a pang of guilt for doubting him. Varun came running
“Were you checking my call?” he asked frustrated,
“No.. I”.
He answered the call. “Hello. Arey yaar… You’re still at the station? Driver nahin aaye?” He looked worried “Ok, I’ll come. No,no you wait there. Abhi nikalta hoon”
“Pari, I’m sorry.” Varun said “The taxi guy has still not reached the station to pick up Raghav. He tried to call the guy several times but he never picked up the phone. I’ll just go there, pick him up and bring him back here ok?”.
“What?” I exclaimed,”Varun, its Raghav’s birthday! If not a full-fledged party, we decided we’d organised atleast a small celebration for him here. If you go, I’ll have to do the decorations myself” I whined.
“But Pari, we can’t leave him waiting at the station endlessly for the driver on his birthday either right?” He asked. He had a point.
“Ok” I said “I’ll do whatever I can.”
“I know you will. Bye” He said, kissed me on my forehead and hurried outside after picking up his phone.
I smiled as I closed the door behind him. Suddenly, I remembered I hadn’t asked Varun where the decorations were kept. I immediately called him. His number was busy. Strange! I thought. Brushing aside the thought of Monica, I decided to search for the decorations myself. Varun had said there would be some left-over from his last birthday party. After all, Varun and Raghav’s apartment was not a new place for me. I’d been here several times. Combine studies, movies, parties… we’ve spent a lot of crazy times together here.
I turned on the lights in the bedroom and began searching each drawer. Here I am, I thought, searching for left-over decorations for one of my dearest friends birthday celebration, who always threw such great parties us for every single occasion. But then again it was Raghav himself who insisted he didn’t want a big party. He wanted to visit his parents in the morning, whose home was a couple of hours drive from here and spend the evening with just me and Varun.
I fumbled around in the first 3 drawers in which I couldn’t find anything. Finally I knelt down to open the largest, bottom-most drawer. In it I saw a huge box. Heaving with all my strength I pulled it out. I sat down on the floor, opened it and peeked inside cautiously. No, no decorations. Just a pile of old papers. Just as I was about to keep it back, the first line written on the paper caught my attention. “Dear Pallavi” it read. I slipped my hand into the box and took out the paper. It was written in a nice but unfamiliar handwriting.
7th December 2010
Dear Pallavi
I really don’t know what to say and how to say this to you. All I can say is you really are one of the sweetest people I’ve ever met. I like everything about you… every single thing. The way you eat ice- cream and end up smearing it all over your face. The way you cry watching sad scenes in films. The way you dance in the rain while everyone else runs for shelter. The way you enact Professor Sharma just to make everyone laugh. The way you always stand up for what is right. And most importantly, the way you smile. Your smile is so beautiful I can do anything just to see it.
I smiled and flipped the paper to the other side. I was elated. Silly Varun. He’d written a letter so sweetly but he never had the guts to give it to me. In fact I never knew he could be so sweet and expressive. But why had he written Pallavi in the letter when he always called me Pari. Of course, this letter is dated before he proposed to me when he used to call me Pallavi itself. I felt so special reading it.
…I don’t know what this feeling is. All I know is that being around you makes me feel alive. And seeing you smile… That’s all I want from life.
Yours,
Raghav
The smile vanished from my face. Raghav!! I couldn’t believe my eyes. I read the name over and over until it didn’t make any sense. Disbelief slowly gave way to seething anger. The guy I had trusted as one of my closest friends, was in love with me. Forget me, what about Varun? Varun trusted Raghav with his life. I couldn’t believe it.
I threw the paper down in anger. Looking into the box, I saw another letter. I didn’t want to read any more of this nonsense but the date caught my attention. 14th February 2011. Valentine’s day. That was the day Varun proposed to me. Hesitantly I picked up the letter.
14th February 2011
Dear Pallavi,
Wow! I’ve never seen you this happy ever since I met you. I know today was one of the best days of your life. I always knew you loved Varun. From the way you always helped him out with his lessons, sent him notes when he was on leave, never missed any chance to spend time with him to the way you got jealous whenever any other girl got close to him. Just the way you looked at him made me realise he was special for you. And Varun! He really likes you too. I knew it right from last month.
You remember your dance performance on republic day event right? You had rehearsed so hard for it. And at the last moment just an hour before your dance, your music CD went missing. You were so upset. I knew you’d put in all your efforts into this performance and you were so looking forward to it. I couldn’t bear to see you so upset. So I ran to a studio of my friend and got him to make another CD for you.
Thank god, Since I watched every one of your rehearsals I knew the order of the songs by-heart. After I made the CD and got back I told Varun. Varun took the CD and then asked me “Raghu.. Please.. I know this is asking too much but.. Can I tell Pallavi I brought this CD.” At that instant I knew he liked you too. Thats when you came running and seeing the CD in Varun’s hand, believed he’d found your missing CD.
You danced beautifully. I never saw anything else but you throughout your dance. Your beautiful white ghagra, long dangling earrings. You looked like an angel, a pari. I thought many a times whether to tell you the truth. But after the performance, the way you hugged Varun, I knew this was what you wanted to believe in. That this misunderstanding will keep you happier than the truth.
Thats why I supported Varun when he confessed his feelings about you to me a week ago. I Knew how happy you would be with him. So for me, the choice was simple. Because I just want to see you smile!
Yours,
Raghav
My eyes were wet with tears by now. I couldn’t believe all that I was reading. Thinking about it, the CD isn’t a big deal now. But it was then. It was proof for me that Varun would always stand by me, support me and get me out of any problem I’m stuck in. That was one of the main reasons I said yes when Varun proposed to me. Otherwise I was worried what we felt for each other was just infactuation; something on which a proper relationship cannot be built on. And Raghav.. Not only did he take the whole trouble of getting the CD but never took credit for it. Just because he knew I’d be happier believing Varun brought it. Tears streamed down my cheeks.
I wiped my face, put my hand into the box and drew out another letter.
28th September 2011
Dear Pallavi,
I’m sorry I had to lie to you today. You’d came home suddenly, so upset. You really didn’t have to tell me what was wrong. I knew you were upset about Monica and Varun’s closeness lately. Sure enough they have those band rehearsals and all which was one of the reasons they spent time together but still, the way she comes here and talks to Varun doesn’t seem right to me either. What’s worse is that Varun doesn’t seem to be doing anything about it either. I’d spoke to him day before and told him specifically to not let you feel so insecure. I didn’t like his indifference. And when I asked him if he was serious about you, he left without even answering me! This left me feeling really worried.
But today when you sat crying in front of me asking where Varun was, I couldn’t muster the courage to tell you he was out with Monica. He told me, It was to just buy a gift for their band lead guitarist because it was his birthday. But I know telling you this would shatter you further.
But we did have a great time after that right? Your favourite game, Monopoly! Don’t be too happy you defeated me thrice in a row, I was just being easy on you, hmphh!! And we watched your favourite film again. After having watched it so many times with you, all the dialouges have become byheart for me, just like you! Seeing the smile back on your face made me feel good again.
When Varun came back I heard him telling you he was out to visit his aunt. I can’t allow things to go on like this. I can’t allow him to deceive you. But its for your smile that I’m keeping silent. I can’t Imagine a day without it! Anyway I’ll talk to Varun seriously today. Also, I’ve booked tickets for you and Varun for the movie starring your favourite actor releasing next week. I know you watch all his movies first day first show. I’d told Varun to do it but I guess he forgot. Anyway, we don’t want to break that tradition do we!? This may bring back your smile too!
Yours,
Raghav
The doorbell rang, loudly. Tears streamed down my cheeks and wet the paper I was holding.
For few moments I couldn’t react. Then I got up. Put the paper back in the box in which lay atleast two dozens more letters, Wiped my eyes and walked towards the door. I took a deep breath and opened it. Outside, stood Raghav.
“Hi Pallavi” he smiled looking at me.
I couldn’t meet his gaze. He walked inside cheerfully.
“Varun is parking the car, he’ll be up in a bit. Hey I know this is my birthday and you should be giving me a gift but, I got something for you.”
He fumbled around in his bag, took out a chain and gave it to me. It was a simple black thread with Lord Krishna’s picture on the pendant. “Remember how you always wanted one of these. ” he said “When I saw it at the temple I remembered…. Pallavi what happened” his expression changed to one of worry as he walked towards me and I stood rooted, crying. I flung my arms around Raghav as Varun stood stunned on the doorway.
__END__
