“Done with your packing” he asked her
“Yeah almost done “she was not dull nor happy but her face was reflecting something different
“I will miss you Anu” he said slowly
“Me too more than words say, Thank you for the wonderful memories you have given to me” She smiled
“No you have made my life beautiful these two days” he said cupping her face in his and placed a kiss gently on her forehead
They started to station; he came to the station to bid her a final good-bye
“Sekhar I forgot to take water bottle can you please get?”
“Yep sure” he went to get a water bottle
“Thank you” she said, taking the bottle from him and kept it in her hand bag
“Jaanu.. “ he called her , she was surprised and happy at the same time , he called her like that after 1 and half year , she looked at him and smiled
“I just want to say one thing” he said, she nodded her head for him to continue
“I’m always there for you, whenever you need anything or you need any help, don’t forget me, I’m always there for you :), whatever you want, anytime or anything just ask me”
She nodded her head in anticipation without speaking anything
“Sekhar this is for you” she handed over him a sealed pink color envelope.
“What’s this, he was about to open that, she stopped him from doing that , “not now , when I leave from here , see what it is ok?” her voice was so serene calm , there’s calmness reflecting in her face indicating him something , but he couldn’t decipher what it was , his heart was saying something is going to happen but he couldn’t trace what it was. But accepted to her words.
“Finally, Love You Jaanu , I will not disturb you again” she said
“Please don’t tell like that, I’m there for you always, but I cannot be in your life Jaanu” he said, she nodded and announcement came for her train, she boarded her train, and the same scenario repeated but places changed, last time it was Sekhar who left her, now it’s her leaving Sekhar, he was on the platform, bidding her bye with tears, she stood at the door, till the train left the platform and disappeared.
She took her place, it was a side lower berth, there was no one on the other seat, and she placed her things and took out her hand bag, dug into it searching for the things, she took out a tablet strip, water bottle and her mobile.
She closed her eyes and popped in all the tablets one by one, took her mobile called up few people, first her mother, when she heard her voice on the other side of the receiver, tears wear gearing up , “Sorry Mom” she thought to herself , next her dad , next her brother and then it was Priya , she spoke with everyone and informed them of her coming , spoke with them for some time and switched of her mobile. She wrote a letter to her parents.
“Dear Mom and Dad,
Firstly Thank you for bearing me all this years for all the bullshit I have done and secondly Sorry, I’m extremely Sorry Mom , Dad and Bro, because I’m the reason for your sadness now, Mom and Dad please forgive me , I’m ending the life you have given me , My heart is not helping me to live this life or to move in this life anymore , please forgive me , and my sincere request is please don’t cry for me , Coz I cannot see you weeping and the reason being me nor can weep your tears like I have done previously when I was a kid about which dad always boasts about , Definitely I will back to you all for a better and happier life with a new start , I will be born to Babhi and Bhayya as their little one , Bhayya take good care of me then ok? :).
Finally I Miss You All and Love you All
Love
Anu”
Her started to spin, she was feeling dizzy, in her heart she prayed “I want to live , live with my love and my parents , but I cannot live like this , Sorry God, I cannot Move on in this life anymore, I’ve tried a lot, but the pain in my heart is never ending , but I couldn’t continue like this , I thought about my parents all this while , but it is becoming unbearable , Please Forgive me and take me with you , Take care of my Parents and Jaanu” rested on her berth and closed her eyes , Images were flashing in her dreams.
After her train has left the place, Sekhar left the station, he got into his car an hurriedly opened the envelope , he was excited to know what it was ,it was a recorder, he connected it to his car, and played it.
“Hi Sekhar, by the time you will be listening this, I will be half way near to God…”
“What the hell” he thought…
He continued listening to the recording “Hi Sekhar, by the time you will be listening to this, I will be half way near to God… Yes Sekhar, What you heard is Right! It was a very long journey I had with you , I imagined my future with you , I imagined our beautiful life , everything had been just shattered just because you cannot make your dad accept our love, I just can’t move on in this life anymore like this, I’ve tried hard to move on without you, I have understood the fact that we cannot be one in this life, I have tried really hard Sekhar, beyond words can say, but you know whatever I do, whatever I think I always end up with your memories, my life without you is just an void, No one can ever replace the space you have left me with.
I wanted to ask you only one thing Sekhar. Why Sekhar? Why aren’t you fighting for our love anymore? Tell me? Give me an answer. Why? What happened to the love you have promised, you will never leave.
I thought I could never make my parents accept our love, but they have accepted for me. You knew everything, after what has happened with my sister they were not ready to accept love marriage in our family, but they did Sekhar, but what happened to you? You are the one who have given me the strength to face my family and confront to them about our love , I did face them boldly and indeed very strongly I told them , they haven’t accepted our love at first , but with your support I have done it. When I was on cloud nine that my parents accepted and the next thing is telling your parents about our love. I have been imagining a beautiful life with you.
You haven’t told me what has happened between you and your dad and I still cannot understand what happened, when your sister called me up saying for us to get eloped, but why? What was the reason? What have I done? What happened? The only thing you ever said to me is that you are leaving me for my own good; I never understood what that was! And I still don’t know what the real reason was and what has happened between you and your family.
You know why I cannot forget you; to lose someone you love is to alter your life forever. You don’t get over it because ‘it’ is the person you loved, there are new people, but the gap never closes. How could it? The particular-ness of someone who mattered enough to grieve over is not erased by anyone but death. This hole in my heart is in the shape of you and no one else can fit…!
Sekhar if you would have told me what has happened between you and your family we would have sorted everything right? Those words which you said are still blogging in my mind you know “My parents are not accepting, I cannot marry you, Please forget me” and just like that you left me in the midst of all these chaos. When I asked you why you are saying like that, you simply stated that I cannot be happy with you and leaving me for my own good
You know what? If this was the reason why you have left me, I would have talked to your parent’s right then, you know what, and I found the real reason for you leaving me… “Her voice was calm, he was shocked at the realization … and it continued
“Yes, I knew everything; I found everything from your sister….. Yes she told me Sekhar, when I forced her… I cannot be the reason for some else’s unhappiness also, that’s why I have never asked you, or never forced you about marriage anytime after knowing the real reason of you leaving me, I don’t know why it happened with us, but that single thing has changed everything altering two life’s, But one question straight away to you, you have left me for your family and again now you are all alone living without your family but living with my memories why?.
But Sekhar this is life, Love and Life, can happen only once with one person. Maybe what’s in the mind can be erased, but what’s in the heart can never be erased…”
I have decided and also cannot marry any other person other than you. I want only YOU in my life… I thought I will wait for you…. or else to lead my life all alone but they are forcing for marriage at home, I cannot hurt them nor I can imagine my life with someone else nor can I spoil some other’s person life, I cannot welcome anyone into my life with all my heart Sekhar, You were my world for many years , but that was when I had real life , I cannot forgo them and lead a normal life again , which was the reason I have decided to end my life.
I miss you when something really good happens coz you’re the one I want to share it with ~♥~
I miss u when something is troubling me coz you’re the only one who understands me ~♥~
I miss you when I laugh and cry coz I know that you’re the one who makes my laughter grow & my tears disappear ♥
Did I ever ask you to show me what love was? Did I ever ask you to love me? Why have you entered into my life and left me when I needed you the most. Why? Why Sekhar? Why everything turned out like this for us?
Sekhar one last thing, I know you would do that for me, Always Smile Sekhar, I will be in this world with your smile, if your smile dies, and then there are no more traces of me in this world. Smile Jaanu.
I love u so much which is making me mad….
I M Sorry for Being So Emotional
I M Sorry for Being So Possessive
I M Sorry That I Cry For You
I’m sorry to hurt you so much Jaanu…..
But there is no other way than to tell like this…. I Miss u… I Miss myself… I Miss everything in life….
… I’m Sorry and I know it is hurting… but…… Good Bye Sekhar”
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