Love Short Story – Because I Love You
Photo credit: Oleander from morguefile.com
Prologue
U.S.A……………….. The dream was about to come true.. I was all excited to go for my first onsite project. A lil bit scared as I didn’t know anything about the project and very busy for my visa processing stuffs and was dreaming about the dreams that I used to take every night.
Wtf?
I’ll be in a village? My onsite location was a small county- the worst place to live for a bachelor and for first time onsite.
That means limited outing sources, discs, clubs..
I’ll be the youngest there? That means all girls will be of didi/bhabhi/aunty category…
Excitement of going onsite was losing ground with these negative factors but God showed me a ray of light coming out from the dark room.
Love at First Site
“Niks!” My PL called me. I turned and my eyes flashed. And I saw a new girl standing at her desk.
“Niks, she is Lavanya.. she will work in your team from offshore. Lavanya, Niks, you’ll work with him. Please ask all of your questions to him. Now I am done.. You guys continue..”
“hi…” A sweet voice says.
I was standing dumb statue there.. lost all of my senses. Totally blank..
I bet anyone will lose his senses at first glance. A beauty with an innocent face… can’t be described in words.
Astonishing, Nasty(in good way ), nice, neat, natural, Edgy, exciting, loving, light(light of hope for me!)
Do you believe in love at first site? Does it happen? Is it infatuation? And what am I attracted to? Her beauty? her innocence? Or a perfect combo of both?
Surrounded with all these questions, came back to real world after few moments and replied back “hi”
Visitor’s pass, desk assigning and all.. used to be boring responsibilities that I had to do for a new comer in the team. But this time, it was diff.. no more boring..
My heart started beating.. Distance to my home from office got decreased. I was full of joy.. Looking up in the sky.. Hoping for awesome days ahead!!
How to Start?
Advantage of being in a “boys only” gang- You can tease anyone. You can abuse, slam and watch other couples and pass comments. Every bad thing you are free to do because you are already tagged as “Bad”.
Disadvantages?
Everything else comes in disadvantages. You don’t know how to start a conversation with a girl, where to look when talking to a girl. And after that get ready to get screwed in the same way you used to do with others. Your friends, loyal members of that boys only gang will screw you like anything.
Niks, don’t listen to them and get your love- My innocent heart, which newly learnt beating, consoled me and encouraged me.
Nerves to my mind were blocked and I was following my heart’s orders.
Hi.. you look beautiful.
Hi.. did you like the office?
Hi.. should we start with KT?
Hi.. coffee?
Totally confused with so many starters and no one was suiting. Opened wikihow.com and looked for “how to start conversation with your crush” but in vain. I was too late to love. All results were for college folks. And finally I started with “Hi.. should we start with KT?” . May be the most typical starter but it worked for me.
“Sure” She replied.
Being with Her
Niks, look into her eyes. My heart boosted me and I got confidence.
“Snacks?” I asked.
“I am not hungry” She replied in her sweet tone. But this is not what I wanted.
“I have not eaten anything from morning. Please come” I urged
Finally she agreed.
It costs double to your pocket and stomach when you go for snacks twice. First with Boys only gang and then with Lavanya.
I just wanted to be with her. As much as possible. Snacks after snacks time was just a way to talk to her in an empty canteen. Pizza, pasta and coffee from CCD used to accompany us.
“what’s your weekend’s plan?” She asked.
I was surprised. She initiated this time. Was too happy to say anything.
“Nothing” Came back with a dull answer.
“There is a restaurant nearby. Can we go there for dinner tonight?” I asked.
Is it too early for asking for a dinner? Is it too casual? What if she says No?
“ok” Before my mind could temper me with all these questions, she replied.
First dinner with her. That too totally unexpected. I was in my formals with my Id card hanging in my neck. But who cares. I was with the girl who I wanted to be with.
We finally reached Maples. It was empty because of Monday. Lights were dim and waiter changed to slow romantic music when he saw us. Perfect ambience for a date. But we were not on a date. Still I loved that.
There she was sitting in front of me. Red sleeveless kurta, perfectly folded dupatta. Hair with lot of pins. And mole below right nostril.
She was princess. Dim light was magnifying her beauty. And I was becoming crazy for that.
“Can we walk for some time?”
“ok”
Sky was clear with stars and half moon. We were walking. I wish if I could hold her hand.
“Lavanya, I am going to onsite tomorrow.”
“That’s great!! Congrats!!!”
“will you chat with me after that?” I asked with curiosity.
“Why not.. I will.”
“Thanks!!”
“ur welcome”
—–
Chat.. Crush… Like
Finally I reached to my dream location.. USA.. It was all different experience. I was on cloud 9. Fully excited and enthusiastic!
A lot of things got changed. But one thing that remained same was our chats.
Started with formal chats discussing just the project work. She moved to some diff project but that didn’t affect our chats. We went casuals discussing office gossips and in couple of months we became friends! And then facebook friends!
Things were going in the way I wanted them to go.. Our chats went longer and longer.. 1 hour, 2 hrs, 3hrs.. oh my god.. it’s 3 a.m. in India.
“Niks, It’s too late now.. I am going to sleep.. gn tc” She replied at her 3 a.m.
My office hours were the perfect time for me to chat with her.. Office had become chat zone for me.. Chats.. chats and chats.. This is what I used to do..
Why does she wake up till 3 a.m. to chat with me? For me? Does she chat with me only? Am I just a friend? Does she like me?
I didn’t have any clue about all these but I was falling for her…
“wait Lavanya, I need to say you something”
“what?”
“Nothing”
I thought to tell her so many times but every time fear of losing her pushed me back.
Does she know that I like her? If yes, then why does she still talk to me? Does she like me?
My heart kept on asking me questions at frequency more than it beats. And I was mum with no answer and no clue.
I couldn’t hide it anymore but couldn’t say it straight forward.
“Lavanya, who is your favourite actor?” I asked during our casual chats.
“Salman Khan” She replied.
“People like their favorite actors. Also they know that they can’t get them but they wish if they can get someone like their favorite actor in their life.“ I told her. Even though I didn’t know what I am saying but I just pinged one of the longest sentence in our chats.
“I didn’t get you.” Confused Lavanya said.
“See, you like Salman Khan but you also know that you can’t get him. But you may want someone like Salman Khan in your life” I tried to explain.
“I don’t want anyone like Salman Khan in my life. Come to the point. What exactly you want to say”
“I like Lavanya. I also know that I can never get Lavanya in my life. But I wish if I can get someone like Lavanya in my life.” I made it finally.
Pause.. 5 mins.. No ping from her side..
Did I screw something? Is she gonna talk? Or Is it the end? I lost her?
“I respect it. I respect that you expressed your feelings. But I am not the special. I am just a girl next door.”
“Lavanya, what am I for you?”
“just a friend. Not a closed one or best one”
Her reply shattered my feelings. Just another friend? Does she have a boyfriend?
“Will you stop talking to me Lavanya?” I asked with last hope.
“See Niks, Liking someone is not a crime that one should stop talking. I won’t stop talking from my side. But yes if it would help you anyway then I can”
“Lavanya I don’t want to lose you. I want your company. As a friend”
“I won’t leave :)”
Her reply again raised a hope in me.
And the chats continued……….
Epilogue
15th march
It was Lavanya’s bday
And I pinged her “Hey happy birthday.. sent u a mail please check that”
Lavanya opened the mail and found the story that I boasted of in real.
10 mins later I again called
“Lavanya i wanted to say something”
“wat?”
“i dont just like u.. i love u.. i dont want anyone like Lavanya in my life.. but i want Lavanya in my life.. i know its not possible.. so better we stop it here”
Lavanya was shocked
“Are you mad?.. we r good friends.. Why r u leaving?.. Anyways its your choice..”
And all I could say was “ Because I love you Lavanya”
I never wanted to leave her. But I don’t know why I did that. I am pretty sure that even today if I call her, she’ll respond.
It hurts when I stay away from her. It hurts when I see her online and don’t ping. But I know it would hurt more if I ping to a girl whom I love and treat her like a normal friend.
Pain is sweet. I was directionless and both sides of the road had pain.
Opened my laptop. Opened youtube this time than facebook.
I was rhyming with Gumrah movie’s Mahender Kapoor-
“Voh afsaana jise anjaam tak laana na ho mumkin, Use ek khoobsoorat mod dekar chhodna achchha
Chalo ek baar phir se… Ajnabee ban jaaye hum dono….”
__END__
