I was totally depressed. Not only because of my exams , but also because of my soul-mate. But still, I wanted to know about his well being. May be because of the same , I attended his calls. I was so depressed that I didn’t even change my red t-shirt. I just threw my bag into the bed & went to the terasse to cry alone. The only thing I carried with me in my pocket was my phone.
“hi my friend!!! How are you???”, he asked me.
“hi…..”,I said.
“how was your exams???”, he asked me.
I started crying. But, I never let him know that am sad.
I said “I want to end this drama Bhumit. For me, you are my soul & for you, am just a source to release your stress. I never demanded anything from you….”, I said.
“That’s why you are still my friend”, he said.
“So, you think that you are doing something great by playing with my emotions???”, I asked angrily.
“I never did it!!” he shouted at me.
“You are still doing it”, I said to him.
“What you want to just shut your mouth??? Let me know your demand”, he said.
“I want the most expensive thing in the world for me”, I said.
“Sure; if it is affordable to me….”, he said.
“yah!!! It’s something which you can easily give me if you wish… ”, I said.
“I think you want a golden chain…..”, he said.
“Huh, no…”, I said.
“A latest android cell phone .Isn’t it???”, he asked me.
“No. I want something more expensive for me”, I said.
“Then am sorry. What you want???”, he asked me.
“It’s just you…your love….”, I said.
“I said , I have no interest in materialistic things. I want the happiness which my love can give me & not his money …..”, I said emotionally.
“Let me hug you……I am a man without any feelings. You are filling my heart with love. I wish if I can sink into your love ”,he said emotionally.
“Fill me with your poison…..let me enjoy it ”, I said secretly.
“I can’t”, he said.
“I love you honey….”, I said.
I was so mad in his love that my mind stopped working in his presence. I just wanted him, nothing else.
“Stop it”, he said.
“Muah”, I kissed him.
“Bye”, he said angrily.
“Ok. Sorry….I’l not….”, I said.
After a pose
“Muah”, he kissed me.
“What???”, I was thrilled.
“I love you honey…I wish if you were of my caste, if your father were a businessman….then I would have married you. But, unfortunately….i can’t”, he said in a sad voice.
“I want you….only you”, I said.
“can you wait for 2 years…..Let me get a job .Once I start earning, I’l marry you Because then I’l be independent”, he said.
“I am ready to wait for the entire life…But….what about our parents???”, I asked him.
“Yah!!! My biggest responsibility. Don’t worry. I’l do it .Leave it to me”, he said.
“Honey , if the world comes to know that Bhumit Sinh is in love with a girl, they’l laugh at me. Because, for the world , Bhumit is a lion without any feelings. You changed me”, he then said.
“What happened honey??? Pavan said something to you???”, I asked him.
“They are my body guards, who works under me .Then how can they say something to me??? They don’t even know that I love you”, he said.
“Yah!!! I know…..once you said”, I said to him.
“Honey….there’s a happy news .My uncle will be released tomorrow”, he said.
“So , now he don’t have to go back to jail…..isn’t it??”, I replied.
“May be honey .Honey, I want you to stay away from me. Because honey, all those things which you can’t afford happens under my fingers. Moreover, even I may be killed at any time”, he said.
“Stop doing all these things honey…..”, I requested him.
“I can’t honey. Now, it’s necessary for our survival”, he said.
“Don’t worry about your life….leave it to me”, I said.
“Don’t tell me that again you are going to do your hunger strikes & prayers & all those stuffs for my life”, he said.
“It’s called writh. Have faith on god , I said.
“There’s nothing like god for me. For me, my dad is my only god”, he said.
“Honey……from now all my happiness are yours & all your sorrows are mine”, I said.
“honey you made an animal a human being .You are so selfless, You never demanded anything from me .But you always gave me everything without demanding”, he said.
“because I love you”, I said.
“honey, don’t talk with my friends .They are not good. They are flirts, who always want girls around them”, he said.
“they’l not think like that about me”, I said.
“honey, they think .They said it ,ok….so please don’t talk with them”, he said.
I was surprised to hear it.
“ok honey…from now onwards. I’l not talk with them”, I said.
“Honey…Pavan is going to come here within 15 min. And you know that he is my dad’s news reporter so….. ”, he said.
“Tell him that am your friend”, I said.
“Honey…but he says that I should stay away from you as you are not of my level”, he said.
“Do you also feel the same??”, I asked him.
“Honey!!! It’s true that you are not of my level”, he said.
I felt like my love failed in getting the place which it deserves . For Bhumit , price tag was always something which was a matter of his concern. For him there was nothing more than money,even my love. I was very sad by listening to his words.
“do you know that am the granddaughter of a landlord??? My uncle is an IAS officer & one of my cousin brother is V.P. of a well reputed company of our place ……but I want to finish this now…”, I said very firmly.
“Sure??”, he asked me. He seemed to be happy with my decision.
“Yes…”, I said.
“Ok….then promise me that you’l never let anyone know about me or Pratiksha…..” , he said.
He just had privacy concern .For the same, he was with me pretending to love me. He knew very well that I’l not open my mouth if he is with me.
“I have no interest in doing so…..”,I said angrily.
“ok bye…good night”, he said.
“bye…”, I said.
Bhumit thought that I would have cancelled the call. But the phone wasn’t cancelled by any of us. By now, Pavan reached there .I was shocked by listening their conversation I was unable to believe what I heard
After ½ hr talks about the murder cases going on at court, Pavan said, “leave all the daily things. Say what’s new??? Who is your new heroin??”
Bhumit laughed & said, “what new??? If the drama queen stops her drama then only now I’l get a new chance”.
It hurt me. For a moment I felt like I am his toy, with which he can play any time & then can throw whenever he feel like doing so.
“who??? Sanjana…???”, Pavan asked.
“who else??? Just before your arrival, she delivered her lectures & asked me to leave this world & become a good human being. She knows many things about me”, Bhumit said.
“finish her”, Pavan said.
“I would have done it. But what to do…it’s just telephonic. I have never seen her. Otherwise, I would have done it………”, he said.
My heart, by now was crushed. I started crying , all alone in the terase of my hostel. For a moment, I felt like jumping off from there. But, my parents love & desires for me….all stopped me. For a moment I felt like if he would have killed me. I felt that bad when he said this.
“don’t worry…..She is a dump. She loves me blindly & will melt listening my few sweet words. It’s enough to keep her shut” , Bhumit then said.
I wanted to get away from him .But, I was unable to do it. Somewhere in my heart, he still ruled But, I did it .
The next day, at 6 pm I called him. It was the last day of my exams & so, I was going home after completing my exams the day.
I was in my marun kurta, sitting in the auto & was going railway station all alone. Sneha & Varsha went with the boyfriend to railway station soon after the & they were waiting for me over there
“hi….”, I said.
“hello my friend….how was your paper???”, he asked me.
“it was easier than my life”, I said.
“what are you telling??? I am not getting you”, he said. He was confused.
“you will never understand. Leave it……anyways, yesterday our relationship was all over as you wished & from now onwards we will never contact each other…..ok”, I said.
After a pose, in a sad voice he said,“ok…..”
I cried again .I hated myself the moment when again tears came out from my eyes for him.
“good bye….”, I said.
“yah!!!”, he said.
“can’t we continue as just fiends???”, he asked me.
“it’s all over Bhumit…..let’s stay away from each other”, I said.
“as you wish……”, he said sadly.
But I was unable to hate him.
Days passed . The more I tried to hate him, the more I loved him. The more I tried to forget him, the more he was mine.
After a week, I found his calls on my phone .He even mailed me ,”we are not so far that you can’t even message your best friend…..”.
“say something now….please”.
But, I didn’t respond to any.
After 2 months….
I was again all alone. All that I had was my boring life with lovebirds around. I was no more interested in becoming a toy for anyone . But, I always missed him.
There was not even a moment in my life which I ended without his memories. I never wanted to interfere in his life. But I wanted to know about his well being for the same, I promised my brother of not talking with his friends.
I started chating with Pavan & Paresh from my fake account. Paresh was my brother. But Pavan was my friend. He liked my frank nature. He shared sharing all about him with me. I talked to him more than my brother.
May be because of the same my brother said me that,” you were a fault on his side. He now feel guilty about the same . He is afraid of you. He never loved you . He’l get married soon……. Please stay away from him…. Forget him….that will be better for you”.
Brother was reserved. But always asked me to get married .
Once he said that he want to attend my marriage.
But I said, “brother no girl can live with someone else when she is in love…..am sorry brother….but I can’t…..I promise, I’l never interfere in his life. Because still…..his happiness is my priority”
“Neither he loved you sister nor he is interested in you”, brother said.
“but I love him…..only him”, I said.
“he is not a perfect guy for you sister………& you also stop loving him”, he said.
“yah!!! He is not a perfect match for me…. I know…..
if he is fire then am water…….
he spoils every work & I make them correct…..
he is not perfect for me……that’s his best thing……
he never loved me…..because he completed me & still with him I feel complete…..
I know he is out of my league, but my heart beats only for him.
I gave him my destiny.
Today, I pray not for my success, but to be only his…..
Or no one else….because he is the only reason for my heart beats…my only hope….
If this is something which is generally called love by the world, then I love him”, I said.
“Forget him….if not for you then for me atleast”, he said.
**
The next day, I found a message in my inbox of my real fb account .It was Bhumit’s message, which read, “miss Sanjana will you do me a favor??” I was happy to see the message. I smiled after a long time. I forgot everything happened in the past.
I felt like am complete again. I felt like every- thing is fine again & we are back.
But, when Bhumit & Sanjana are together, nothing can be perfect.
I wanted to talk to him .So, I decided to talk to him from my fake account.
At night 10, I logged in . But I decided one thing …..that I’l start angrily & then I’l make him my sweetheart when he’l start apologizing like a honey boy .
I messaged him, ”how dare you messaged me??? Stop interfering in my life“.
I was expecting an apology letter from him. But he gave me something unexpected. I was shocked. It was something usual between us. But still I found it difficult to accept.
He replied me, “stop talking with my friends……otherwise it will not be good for you”.
“ask them to stay away from me………..By the way, what you wanted me to do for you???What’s your problem???”, I asked him.
”that’s my problem. Better you don’t interfere”, he said .
“hello…..you only said that you want me to help you”, I said.
“yah!!! I want you to stay away from them”, he replied.
“how’s your family members??? Hope they are leading a happy life….”, he asked.
“yah!!! They are fine .Thanks for asking……. What about your family members????”, I asked him.
I knew why he asked the question. He knew that I love my parents more than my life. So, to make me do what he wants, they are the best weapons .
He proved me right by saying, “take care of your family members & deactivate this account if you can. By the way, it’s your wish. How can I interfere in your life. Now-a-days, number of accidents are more .Take care of your family. Ok….. ”
”don’t you dare to take even their names….Did your friends say you that I talk with them????”, I asked him.
“no no…..i have their id & password. So, don’t worry”, he said.
“if you can open their accounts, then send me the messages which I send to them”, I said.
“yah….1 min…..
Jasmine: now should I feed Pavan….ask him to have food I don’t eat food on monday”
Paresh: he didn’t have anything since morning…..he’l feel bad…
Jasmine: better he would have his food….
Paresh: he’l not eat if you’l not He’s very firm with his decisions….
Jasmine: I can’t break the rules of writh……it’s for your brother’s life. I started it 11 weeks before. Still, 5 Mondays are to be finished…..”
I knew that he had brother’s password. Brother once said it to me .
“Ok dear….these are your messages send to your brother just 5 minutes before”, Bhumit said.
“Yah!!! I know that you have his id & password. Send me someone else’s chats….”, I said.
“Now stop your drama or else both will be beaten by me because of you”, Bhumit said.
“I can’t believe that I have to talk like this to you…..& please do not hurt them because of me”, I said.
“Then deactivate this account….”, he said.
“Bhumit…..”, I called him.
“Yes, fast. Do it”, he replied.
“Why are you separating my brother from me???”, I asked.
“I have never separated your brother from you…..deactivate your account”, he said.
“Honey…..”, I said expecting for his permission to talk to my brother.
“Shut up!!! Just shut up….or I’l kill you”, he said.
“Can you do it???”, I asked him.
“I would have done it . But these stupid emotions stopped me. So, better you understand. I can do anything now…”, he replied.
I was torn apart by his reply .But, my love was crazy .Still I felt like he loves me & he’s doing this with me to separate me from him.
“You were never our topic….believe me….if not me, then at least your brother…”, I said.
“I don’t talk to your brother about his contacts & his talks….ok….”, he said.
“I’d like to know one thing…..why you would have killed me???”, I asked him.
“I don’t have time to explain you all this useless things.”, he replied.
His every message just killed me. He was so rude.
“Now talking to me is a time waste for you. Once, you said that if someone loved you, then it’s only me & no one else….
Now also, the thing exist Bhumit. May be because of the same, today I got the rs.500 note, on which you wrote our first letters on our virtual wedding day .I hope you remember….check the rs 10 note with you .Mine may be with you. And today, the moment I remembered you, you were there with me through your message”, I said.
“I don’t have time. You are a waste, who’s always behind rich boys….bye & deactivate your account”, he replied.
“Oh!!! I see….so I am a despo now, interested in money…..
I was ready even to stay with you on road & starve. Many times you also accepted that I am selfless & you praised my qualities….”, I wrote.
“I was mad at that time…..”, he wrote.
“Why you played with me….my emotions???”, I asked him.
“I never did it. Even I stopped talking with you such things… so that you can’t blame me ”, he replied.
“Great…..ask your friends to stay away from me.
You’l never understand the pain of love. But, I hope you can at least understand the feelings of a sister”, I wrote.
“Why should I say it to them .I want you to do it??? And call me if you want to say something”, he said.
I was confused. He is so rude & still he wants me to call & talk to him.
“It has only one meaning, that you trust me more than your brothers. Otherwise you would have asked them to do it & that would have been an easier task for you as well”, I wrote.
“Keep your philosophy with you. I have seen girls like you….so, better stop your drama…..”, he wrote.
“Great…hat’s off to your thinking. The girl who loved you even after knowing your true identity deserves to be drowned in the rudeness of your words ”, I wrote.
“And since beginning you are using this “girls like me…”
What do you mean by that???just explain to me.
He’s my brother, I said & am his sister…there’s absolutely no benefit for me in this relation except the love of a brother…& when I took advantage of you???” , I asked him .
I was very angry. I just felt like kicking his ass.
He laughed “you never did it.
But you wanted to do it. Look, am no more a part of your drama. So, just stop it!!”, he replied.
“For the one who have never seen love , the entire world is a drama stage…..I understood it today”, I replied.
I now really wanted to kill him.
His reply came,”good ….very good…..now deactivate this”.
For a moment I thought like deactivating this fucking account & end everything. But then I remembered how my brother & Pavan were angry with me when I did it once.
I said him, “I tried to get away. But, if I don’t talk with them , they feel bad”.
“They are interested only in my life & nothing else. If you can understand then please do it or else….. ”, he replied.
“But why you want to separate us???”, I asked him.
“You’l have problem in understanding it……”
“I want my life to be neat & clean”, he replied.
I knew his problems. He was just afraid of his father & he felt like I’l take revenge for what he did with me.
He never understood the intensity of my love for him.
“Oh !!! I see….you know what…we both have same position…but the difference is your chair is made of fear & mine of love”, I said.
“What???”, he replied.
“Did your Pavan have his dinner??? No isn’t it??? Now you try to understand…..”, I said.
“Great…….now stop your drama. Otherwise it may affect your health”, he said.
“When I was my matter of concern?? My only concern was my near & dear ones….”, I replied.
He also knew it. May be because of the same, he used my brother & my parents as a weapon to terrorize me.
“Ok….then start caring about your health also……
& yah before going, I want to share a good news with you….”, he wrote.
I was surprised. He still considers me as a part of his life. I understood by this one sentence. I knew that he loves me, but his environment can’t accept me. May be, that’s why he wants me t stay away from him.
“So still you care about me…….
By the way, what’s the news??”, I asked him out of anxiety.
“No am just worried about your parents, nothing else
& the news is my love also loves me .I wanted to say this to you & nothing else”, he said.
I was confused.
“About whom are you talking about??? Pratiksha or someone else???”, I asked him.
I knew the answer of my question .And I also knew that he is lying. But, I never wanted to be a subject of his intensity which I can’t handle. So, I just pretended to accept what he said & continued.
For a moment I felt like, why I know him so correctly. If he was something beyond my understanding, I wished whole heartedly.
“It’s all about Pratiksha, my love. Our family is now back together & so we are”, he wrote.
I really felt if I can say him, “honey don’t lie at least to me. Because, am the person who know you very well”. But, I didn’t say.
But, I still managed to ask him , “but why you wanted me to know about it???”
“For your happiness & please do attend our marriage”, he said.
“Sure….I’l be happy to attend your marriage. But why are you bothered about my happiness”, I dared to ask him this question.
“Because of your dialogue, “I want you to be happy”& all. Now am really happy. I swear”, he wrote.
The more he tried to separate me from him, the more he made me feel his love.
“Am happy to know that you know about my thoughts. Even today there’s nothing more than your happiness for me. But, please never hurt my brother”, I said.
“Stop your drama”, he wrote.
“You can think anything about me …..I’l never let anybody know the reason for me deactivating this account”, I assured him.
“Bye….good night”, I said.
“They work under me & not above me”, he wrote.
“Please let them enjoy their life”, I said.
“Ok good night…..”, he said.
“But there’s one thing…..
If your slaves have to leave you….they’ll do it whole heartedly…..
But , if they’l have to leave me…
they’l do it because of their helplessness…..
Because they are my friends….
You can try it…..
Bye… good night”, I said.
“Hello!!!! The world touches my feet. Who are you???”, he asked me out of his anger.
“Am the person who touches the heart of the same world.
& yah!!! I have something for you. I have decided to deactivate this account. Because I’l never wish to see someone in trouble just because of me….good night”, I said.
I deactivated my account.
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