Luckily, the bus has come. I waited for that too long, not only for bus, also I was eager to meet her. I took a window seat and started to think about the past. Memories don’t fade even if you tried to forget the past. Truthfully, I don’t want to forget Sadhana.
Its been a long, that I met her thirty years back. Memories ran back to the place where I first met her. It was a chill morning with cool breeze, extended its service till afternoon. I was waiting for the bus in a nearby bus stop. It wasn’t much long from my room. I reluctantly watched everyone’s face and their weird expression for their bus, so that I can barely spend the time with out getting bored. It wasn’t that good to watch over. So I picked up my phone from the pocket and going through the news feeds. I was not a great fan of social medias, but I wanted to know some updates. It was quite obvious, that I was not interested in that too.
Little after, I don’t know what made me to see her behind myself. I wanted to get struck in that time. I saw her with my jaw open reaction, yet not too revealing. She was standing with an board in her hand. Her wavy hair was keep on coming and fell down on her forehead. She looked almost like an angel wearing a blue dress. “An angel doesn’t really need to wear only white dress” i thought. I was curious about the board. Then I moved myself nearer to her and checked whether I can see through the board. It’s of no use.
Suddenly, a drizzle of water hit on to my chin and then it started to rain. I was clever enough to bring my umbrella. I opened it and saw her again. She was searching some place to move, though she only worried about the board. So I offered my umbrella to her. I moved back to some safe place to hide from rain. A sign of relief had appeared in her face. The rain poured almost for half an hour.
At last, the bus came. She also boarded in the same bus. I was eager to hear her voice while asking for her ticket, but unfortunately she showed her pass ticket. I didn’t want to end this meeting in bus itself. So I also took pass ticket for me, so that I could get down the place where she was going to.
“Excuse me, can you please move?” Someone asked. ” hey you man, move now, I had to get down next” again someone asked. Someone from behind held my shoulder and said, ” can you please move out of my way? I am asking you for the third time”.
“oh, I am sorry, I couldn’t hear that you said” I replied back. He sarcastically said something, but I couldn’t understand that. Whatever, I never reveal myself having hearing impairment, not to think so. But sometimes it was harder to cope up with this.
She got down in an unfamiliar area and I followed her pretending like I would usually go there. It was little bit overacting.
It was an art exhibition. She entered and approached someone over there and walked towards some cabin. I didn’t want to literally go in behind of her. So I watched every other arts. They were explaining their theme. I was not a big fan of arts, so of now. But I was interested in writing books then, I moved to her cabin and approached her and asked ” how much is this? I want to buy it”.
She showed a paper in which it was written as two thousand rupees only. It turned to be little costly for me, but I had to get it. So I again wrote in that paper ” I have one thousand rupees only, if you agree me to give the remaining money tomorrow, it would be fine”. “If she was going to say yes, then I would ask her number either or if it was not yes, what should i tell?”. I thought.
She again replied, “its my number, text me tomorrow afternoon for the remaining amount”.
Next day, I was very happy and eagerly waiting for the afternoon. I couldn’t sleep last night. Her eyes were dragging me into her thoughts again and again. It was a pleasure feeling to think about her.
Then, I texted her to ask about remaining money. She told me to send the money to some address. I said, “okay, thank you for your patience, I’ll send the money soon, catch you later”. I did mean that. I checked the address and sent the money. It was an orphanage address. I wanted to ask her, but I didn’t know how to continue the conversation. Thinking that, I slept soon.
The very next day, I sent “good morning” to her. She replied back “good morning”.
” I sent the money to the following address, it wasn’t seems to be your address, was it?”. I replied.
She replied, “no, I usually send money to those orphanages from my art, so I asked you to send it directly over there, I trusted you”. I was on cloud, she had trusted me in first meeting itself.
Days passed on, but we were still on contact. She was cute girl with most adorable character. It was comfortable talking with her. I never remember any one of the symptoms occurred while looking other girls like her. It was fully new to me and i never felt like that. I wanted to tell her the truth for the first time. I wanted to reveal her that I was an impaired person. I didn’t want to hide my feelings for her.
Next day, out of all guts, I called her instead of texting her. I knew that I was not able to hear back whatever she replied, but I wanted to give my heart a relief. Its been too heavy for me to hold it in my heart. Her phone was ringing for the second time, but she didn’t pick up. I wanted to give a try again. She picked up in third ring. So she might be said, ” hello”. I didn’t hear any voice anyway. I told her that I was having hearing impairment from childhood and i never wanted to hide from her. And also, I loved her from the very first sight and wanted to be with her till the end of my life. I kept the phone after saying that.
I ran towards my friend who was in conference call with us and asked him, ” did she talked anything?”. He said, “No Aadhava, she didn’t talk anything, she was quiet till the end of the call. I was worried that she might think bad about me. But she said that she trusted me. “We couldn’t understand girls”. I thought.
I was literally thinking about what happened just before. I thought I made a mistake, really I was an spoiler. I even thought, ” she might think to avoid me, though anyway I was a deaf”. Various thoughts had been occupied my mind.
I sent so many messages to her, but I ended up the day without any reply. I couldn’t sleep, thinking of my spoiled ness. Then, in the midnight, a text arrived from her. I quickly opened it to get disappointed only. She told that she was also a person of vocal impairment. That didn’t actually disappointed me, but she was going to pursue her treatment in Germany and to get operated for the impairment. I felt sad in despair. She never liked me and now she was going to Germany for treatment. I didn’t want to ruin her beautiful life. So I tried hard to avoid her. I didn’t reply for her messages. I deleted her number and tried hard to forget her, but all in vain. So I planned to get transfer myself to my hometown. I was working on a book about my love. I discontinued it after all that. The day before the day i was leaving, I received a letter from Sadhana. I didn’t have strength to open it, it could even change my decision about leaving tomorrow. So I kept it in my bag.
Years passes by, I remembered her each and every moment. Whenever I thought about her, I started to write the remaining book about my life with her.
One day, I wanted to go back to the place where I first saw her. One week before, I reached the same bus stop, i was thinking about her. It was still the same, the same happiness emerged from my heart when I thought about her.
Then, I went to my old room which was closed for years. No one had come to that room after me. The owner was a friend of mine. So he allowed me to stay there for longer time. I quickly searched in my bag for the key. It was the only key I had. I opened the door and saw some bunch of letters. It was all from Sadhana. I quickly opened the recent dated one.
It was written as, ” Dear Aadhav, its been a long time, that I wanted to tell you something important. I wish i could meet you now. I was all alone struggling to live with out you. I still hold your memories in my heart. It was sweet enough to wait for you this long. I posted many letters to you, but you didn’t reply for any of that. It was too heavy to hold my breath to live without you. I wish you could come back to me. I waited for you too long. Only my love should bring you back before I die. I hope you would come and meet me this time”.
Tears fell down from my eyes. I had wasted my life being without her. Then I remembered about her first letter which was kept in my bag. It was still there. I opened and read that she wasn’t going to Germany for her treatment. She wanted to live with her inability, yet she was happy to live with me. She also wrote, ” meet me tomorrow evening 5’o clock at bridge hall”. I cursed about myself being a stupid and stubborn for till longer time.
Now I am going to meet her. I wanted to gift her the book “My life with Sadhana” which I wrote. I came back to my senses when the driver shouted, “same tram bus stop”. I reached her home. It was very quite outside her home. I knocked the door twice. She opened the door and shocked to see me in front of her. She signed me to come inside and showed me a sofa to sit. She brought some juice and asked me with tears in sign language, “how are you? Where were you this many days?” She was too stunned to speak.
“I was not good enough without you Sadhana. I missed you so much”. I exclaimed. I told that I didn’t open her letter and moved to my hometown. But I kept it with me. I read all your letters one week before only. She was happy that “At least, you read it after all”.
She went inside and brought some board in her hand. She gave me that and said, “this was her gift for me”.
Later, I remembered about my book, I gave that book to her. It was quiet around us, it was only our sign language speak hard. She was excited to see book with her name. She loved it. She also sat on the sofa and started to read the book.
I then uncovered the wrapper from the board. I was surprised to see the pictures drawn by her. It clearly portrayed the life cycle of lovable couple “Aadhav and Sadhana”. I was keenly watching each and every picture and smiling. She suddenly turned the pages and stayed at last page of that book. She was reading eagerly. she had finished her last sentence. When i was about to finish my fan work, her head was slightly leaned over my shoulder. I enjoyed her presence so nearer to me for the first time. I was about to tell her that I still love her so much. I turned and to see her eyes were closed and she left me all alone again. She had gone forever.
Thinking her, a tear fell from the corner of the eyes. I said, ” wait Sadhana, I am coming behind you, to live with you there all of my eternity” and closed my eyes. We both lived our lovable life in our passion. Cool breeze started to surround in that quiet area.