Article – Husband Or No Husband In Life
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Long – long ago the word used for husband was “husbandi” and with the pace of time it changed into “husbanda.” and ultimately concluded on husband which is in vogue for a pretty long time. Husband word is accepted and acknowledged by one and all for the male married man in English language and literature.
Now the word husband is used all over the world for a man who gets married with a woman and it is stagnant for a pretty long time.
Whenever we think of husband, a superman appears before our eyes. He is the head of the family. He is the master of family with power or authority. He is the head of the family. He is the sovereign. He is the monarch of all he surveys. It is he who earns bread and butter for the family. It is he who cares for his wife and children.
In some of the countries husband is delegated with super power that he can do anything with his better half, even can torture her inhumanly for a trifle matter, none is there to listen to her, what thought of equality and justice of such wives in society and what thought of such husbands who have empowered them to do so at their sweet will.
It is his masculinity that he dominates his wife. It is he who orders his wife for any unusual thing to do beyond social ethics. It is he who commands his wife. It is he who rules over his wife as and when, where and how he likes.
It is one of the important reasons that a few women, though minimal in number, prefer to remain bachelor to marrying men.
Sometimes or very often wife does not remain a partner but remains a pupet in the hands of her husband. Equality, freedom, right and justice – all are lost the moment she is married to a man in a family she is quite ignorant of. Everyone whether male or female as husband or wife has some aspiration, some ambition and some objective or goal in life. Every day we see and find almost all over the countries how inhumanly wife is treated either by her husband or by family members or by both for no fault of her. Sometimes the incidents are so tragic or pathetic that we are stunned to hear it.
The word husband is so popular among the people that it does not require anyone to explain its meaning in as much as everywhere in every country marriage is celebrated enthusiastically in the auspicious function in which the one part is a man whereas the other part is a woman – between opposite sex respective of or irrespective of caste, creed, blood, religion, tradition, culture and so on.
Sex is the inborn quality or nature or attitude or phenomenon or emotion or excitement or stimulation bestowed upon by the Creature ant tops the list of those of others like anger, pride and greed.
We are well aware of the fact that –“काम, क्रोध, मद, लोभ” are the inborn qualities of man/woman and every one of us is badly affected in life.
Let us understand “marriage” first, then “husband” and at the end – “wife”.
Marriage is a union of two opposite sex – a male and a female normally at young age.
Literally it is a unity of two different souls.
Marriage is a social need or customary performance for the sake of fulfilling the sexual desire that is as necessary as anything else and at the same time to get the babies for the continuity of the dynasty or generation for the family for the years to come.
Husband is considered as master of the family whereas his counterpart as associate so called wife.
Wife is a married woman and particularly she is considered as associate or as partner in relation homely, physically, mentally, economically, religiously, spiritually and socially with man with equal right and duty and that is why she is termed as better half.
If I quote some thoughts of the great scholar William Shakespeare I understand everybody, whether wife or no wife or whether husband or no husband, can be able understand clearly the meaning of husband in the real sense of the term:
A) “Thy husband is the lord, thy life keeper.”
B) “Thy head, thy sovereign, one that cares for thee.”
C) “And for thy maintenance commits his body”.
D) “To painful labour by sea and land.” (Extract from his world famous novel – “The Taming of the Shrew” in 1593)
A British woman after marring introduces her partner, “He is my husband, my master.”
A Spanish lady said to her friend, “Este is mi esposo” (This is my husband)
An Indian woman after marriage drawing the attention of her friend remarked, “Ye mere Patidev hain.” (He is my husband lord alike)
Most of the women have to marry the reasons best known to one and all but some women do not marry why so? There are obvious reasons why some women didn’t marry in life i.e. remained bachelors. Here also the reasons are crystal clear based on logical assumption and presumption or as a sort of information from different sources based on facts and figures.
Nobody can deny that woman is considered the best creature of God on the earth. I agree to it as woman plays the different roles in family as well as in society quite differently from most of the others as mother, as sister, as wife, as daughter, as granddaughter as grandmother and as daughter-in-law. The role of wife in family ,If I am not wrong, supersedes all.
I’ve written recently an article titled as “Wife or No Wife in Life” just published in “yourstoryclub.com” particularly for my readers who wait and stare for reading my stories with sheer interest and for the sake of knowledge too.
As I do not want to displease the counterpart so called “Wife” – millions and millions all over the world, I thought of writing something in opposition titled as “Husband or No Husband in Life”.
People use to quote: “No life without wife.”
There is always a woman behind his (One’s) success.
Wife plays a vital role in the family. She satisfies her husband with all she preserves and possesses. Moreover she gives birth to babies in order to continue her husband/family dynasty or generation further for the years to come. It is she who devotes, dedicates and sacrifices whole life for the pleasure, peace and prosperity of the family as a whole.
In spite of all wife does such a great thing for her husband, for the family and moreover for the society as a whole but in reality she doesn’t get due respect and honour over and above an opportunity to place her demand or to raise her voice for equality, freedom and justice in society.
Now the question in relevance arises why woman marries man.
The reasons are summarised in brief as follows:
1.Custom, tradition or culture or religion of the society
The moment a female child attains the age of puberty or her menstruation starts so to say she becomes young, her parents worry about her marriage to settle her in life. Obviously they also want to avoid any unprecedented incident arising out of her youthful age that can defame their social status, name, fame and prestige.
2.Security, protection and safety
It is seen, felt and experienced unmarried woman is very often followed, interfered, teased, molested, kidnapped and even raped whereas married woman is avoided or ignored to a great extent as she is secured, protected and safe in the guard and vigilance of her husband mostly at the time wherever and whenever she goes out – normally with her husband.
3.Fulfilment of sexual need or desire
Sex is a natural necessity like food and drink (Save and except a few cases wherein woman has/had a specific objective or aim or purpose to achieve or fulfil in life) that woman marries or get married man to fulfil it.
4.Support of livelihood and proper care
It is said even the king or emperor with fabulous wealth and supreme power cannot keep in his palace his young daughter the moment she becomes young, he has to get her married with a man.
Woman requires full support of her and her wards livelihood and proper care in all that she and her children deserve and need in the right perspective at the right time for a right cause.
5.Love and affection and due respect and honour
Woman needs love and affection coupled with youthful romance freely, fairly, frankly and fearlessly and all that she desires is possible only she is married with man that can give her, none else.
Same is the case with due respect and honour. In the opinion of the house every married woman should be treated as daughter of the family and accordingly she should be taken care of.
6.Social justice: Woman requires necessary help physically, mentally and economically especially in old age. Not only her husband but her family members ought to make some pre-arrangement for her care, support and medical aids etc. Her life should be insured at young age when married under old age pension schemes and some amount should be invested under monthly income scheme.
Here is the list of women who did not marry in life:
A)Film Industry
1.Lata Mangeshkar
She didn’t marry as she dedicated herself wholly, solely and exclusively for the cause of music. She is a very popular play back singer in film industry of Mumbai since her childhood. She is widely known as Lataji all over the country and beyond that. Her songs are so melodious that they have captured the hearts of the millions and millions people of the world. Till now she sang thousands and thousands songs not only in Hindi but in almost all regional languages. It is beyond our capacity to explain the depth of her songs. People say her superb and sweet voice is God – gifted.
It is a fact that she was so immensely engaged or involved in singing songs for the films as a play back singer that she had no time to think over this issue.
Dedication and devotion also is the reason for not marrying.
Some people are of the opinion that she was the fan to KL Saigal’s at her young age when he was alive and won the hearts of the people in and around the country with his classical songs so wholeheartedly sung by him. She had had due respect for him. She loved him too.
Why she didn’t marry is still a secret, only she or God knows.
Though very old but still she is so enthusiastic that she sings song for herself and for others too. Music is her passion. Music is her hobby. Music is in her blood. Music is in the air that she inhales and exhales. Incomparable! Unique! Superb!
May God keep her fit and healthy!
2.Suraiya
Suraiya was attached to Bombay (Now Mumbai) film industry. Her birth name is Suraiya Jamaal Sheikh. She was born on 15th. June 1929 at Gujranwala in Punjab now in Pakistan. She died on 31st January 2004 in Mumbai at the age of 74.
She was one of the most popular actresses and singers for others
and for herself in Bollywood films.
She came to Mumbai along with her uncle and while seeing the shooting of the film Taj Mahal (1941) the director Nanubhai Vakil
selected her to play the role of young Mumtaj Mahal in the film.
It was the turning point in her life that she became so popular as
“Heroine”. Earlier to this she was singing for a children’s programme in AIR, Mumbai.
Latter she became full-fledged singing star in Anmol Ghadi (1946),
Dard (1947), Dillagi (1949) and Dastan (1950)
As a child artiste, she acted in Tamanna (1942), Station Master (1942), Hamari Baat (1943).
Suraiya had an edge over Kamini Kaushal and Nargis because she
could sing her own songs, none else. It was a rare talent that she had had, none else that time. Pyar Ki Jeet (1948), Bari Bahen (1949) and Dillagi (1949) established her as an outstanding actress all over the country and abroad too.
Here the main reason for her not marrying a man comes into
Picture when she worked with Devanand – the most handsome actor of that time in Bollywood.
She acted together opposite him in Vidya (1948), Jeet (1949), Shair (1949), Afsar (1950), Nili (1950), Do Sitare (1951) and Sanam (1951).
Suraiya and Devanand were romantically involved in love affairs.
One incident deepened Suraiya’s love when Devanand saved her life from drowning as the boat was capsized during shooting of of the scene of a song of the film Vidya in 1948. As usual they used to meet each other at secret places.
She acted in so many hit films, she sang in her own voice so many
“Melodious Songs” that people who are alive still now cannot forget her talent as actress and as singer.
The love affairs continued like anything from the years from 1948 to 1951 only as Suraiya’s grandmother Badshah Begum opposed firmly to marry Devanand as he belonged to another community.
She dared not go against her wishes but she decided to remain bachelor throughout her life. Though persuaded many a time but She refused to marry anyone. Her grandmother shifted to Pakistan but she remained in India.
She didn’t marry till the last day of her life. But one thing, though not on record but said that it was Suraiya who asked Devanand to marry a woman of his choice. Devanand who also wanted to remain bachelor whole life like Suraiya married Kalpana Kartik at last.
She died on 31st. January 2004 at the age of 74 in Mumbai. With the passing away of Suraiya an era of legendry of Boolywood passed away leaving so many melodious songs like “Wo pass rahen ya door rahen, najro men samaye rahte hain, itna to bata de koyi hame, kya pyaar isee ko kahte hain”, Tere naino ne chori kiya , mera chhota sa jiya, pardesia and Tum mera chaand , main teri chandni.
B. Indian Politics
1. Mayavati: Mayavati Her full name is Mayavati Prabhu Das popularly known as Kumari Mayavati (Miss Mayavati). She was born on 15th. January 1956 in New Delhi in a Hindu Dalit family. She is also termed as the Iron Lady Myavati due to her strict discipline and drastic action. She graduated in 1975 in arts, law and education. Basically she worked as teacher in Inderpuri, JJ colony, Delhi. Once Kanshi Ram visited her home in 1977 and noticing her talent as a good orator, he included her as a member of his team when he founded the Bahujan Samaj Party in 1984. It was the turning point in her life. Very soon she was first elected to parliament in 1989. She was elected national president of the BSP for the first term on 18th. September 2003. She continued for the second and third term on 30th. August 2014 and still holding the post.
She held the office of the UP Chief Minister for fourth terms from 3rd. June 1995 to 18th. October 1995, from 21st. March 1997 to 20th. September 1997 from 3rd. May 2002 to 26th. August 2003 and lastly from 2007 to 2012 as the full term CM of UP.
She is known as Kumari Mayavati MP, National President of BSP.
She didn’t marry till now in life as dedicated to Indian Politics wholly, solely and exclusively for the cause of the Dalits of the nation in particular and all in general.
Once Kashi Ram at his first sight said to her at her home, “I can make you such a big leader one day that not one but a whole raw of IAS officers will line up for your orders.” She was so influenced that she dropped the idea of IAS exams and wholeheartedly became ready to join the politics. For the political achievement to the top as a big leader she preferred better to remain bachelor than to marry a man in life. She still lives and leads a bachelor life with ease.
2.Jaylalitha: Jayalalitha was born on 24th. February 1948 just after India got freedom on 15th. August 1947. She was born and brought up in a very well-to-do family. After the sudden demise of her father at early age her mother namely Vedavalli came to Bangalore from Mysore where Jayalalitha was born. As her mother was talented lady with all qualities of an actress, her relatives attached to Chennai film industry inspired and encouraged her to leave Bangalore and shift to Chennai for she could better be capable enough to take part in theatre and films. No sooner did she receive the call than she rushed to Chennai with her only daughter so called Jaylalitha. It was the tradition to change name in film industry to suit the people and popularity and consequently she was known as Sandhya as actress. She earned name, fame and money here within a short time.
Jayalalitha was brought up in a luxurious environment and as such she knew the importance of name, fame and money in one’s life to live and lead a comfortable/luxerious life in society.
She got the entry in the film due to her rare quality and mother’s approach in the film industry.
Jayalalitha debut in Kanada film “Chinnada Gombe” in 1964, Telgu film “Manushulu Mamathalu” in 1964, Tamil film “Vennire Aadai” in 1965 and also in Hindi film “Izzat“ in 1968 and the last but not the list Malyalam film “Jesus“ in 1973.
Her pet name was “Ammu” in childhood. Since 1990 people address her with sheer love and due respect as “Amma” which means mother or madam.
Though she had all that she needed to live and lead life luxuriously but even then she felt lack of power and position in society as compared to the politicians of that time in Tamil Nadu.
Since she was very ambitious, she turned politician all of sudden.
It is no exaggeration to keep on record that she succeeded very soon as her fans were in a large number in whole state and loved and respected her wholeheartedly. She defeated her deep rooted political opposition party in the assembly election held in 1991 and became the Chief Minister of Tamil Nadu for the first time and successfully continued till 1996.
It was an unfortunate period in her political career that she lost the majority in 1997 assembly election and the opposition party came to power in 1997 and continued till 2001. During this period she had to face great problems but she tolerated with patience and perseverance. She didn’t lose heart and bravely and courageously she organised her party once again and won the majority in the assembly election of 2001. She was elected the leader of the party and once again she became the Chief Minister of Tamil Nadu and continued from 2001 to 2006 (Full term). She retained the position in 2011 assembly election with majority and again became the Chief Minister and still holding the supreme position in the state with full support of the people at large of the state. She remained the supreme authority of the state continuously for three terms save and except for break for a few months due to some unprecedented situation.
She is as tender as flower and at the same time shrewd as thunder. She is very kind by heart but very tough by action.
Jayalalitha didn’t marry till now. She lives and leads a bachelor life with supreme political power and status in the state.
The reason she didn’t marry in life is quite known to one and all of the country.
May God grant her a long life, peace, pleasure and prosperity!
3.Mamta Banerjee
Mamta Banerjee as popularly known as Mamta Didi among her workers and leaders of All India Trinmul Congress Party. She is now the Chief Minister of West Bengal.
She didn’t marry for the sake of her career growth as a successful political leader particularly in her state and even in the central Government of the nation.
She was well aware of the fact if she married, she would be badly involved/indulged in family affairs and thus she would fail to achieve what she had thought of at her early age.
She was born on 5th. January 1955 in Kolkata, the capital of West Bengal in a common Brahmin family.
Politics is in her blood since her school days when she was merely 15 years old while studying at Jogmaya Devi College establishing “ Chhatra Parishad Union”. Since then she continued her journey as a political leader. She became very popular in 2006 when she opposed the acquisition of farmers’ lands in Singur for setting up automobile factory. She sat for a couple of weeks on hunger strike and continued till the decision of the then CPM Govt. was withdrawn.
It was the turning point in her life that people started believing her that she could serve them for the cause of their well being.
She was directly involved in the affairs of the public as and when any public issues/matters arose.
She held the prestigious posts of Railway Minister and Coal Minister at centre.
She is the founder and chairperson of All India Trinmul Congress or TMC in 1997. She led the party to such a height of popularity for the cause of the common people of West Bengal that people started loving her Didi for her simplicity and sincerity in what she said and what she fought for cause of the people at large in and around the state.
It is she who took oath as the first woman Chief Minister of West Bengal on 20th. May 2011 after defeating her opponent party – CPM who ruled continuously for 34 years. The CPM in WB was deeply rooted for such a pretty long period of rule alone but it is she who won the heart of the people with her sincere work and smashed the party in election by winning grand majority to form the government of her own party.
Time magazine named her one of the most 100 influential women in the world.
It is evident on record that it is she with her sincere effort, effective and efficient management and able guidance who reached to such a prestigious status and position what she had thought of and in her opinion and that of the learned people of the country that this could be possible only she didn’t marry in life.
I personally love and respect her immensely for the simple living and high thinking ways and art of living and leading life particularly so simply dressed in a sari like a common woman of society.
May Mamta Didi live long and serve the needy people of the state and beyond that!
Social Work 1. Mother Teresa
Mother Teresa didn’t marry as she became nun at the early age to serve the mankind in sorrow and suffering, helpless and downtrodden people, the orphans, homeless and hungry.
She was born on 26th. 1910. She was Albanian by birth.
As she did not marry, she dedicated herself for the cause of humanity on earth poorly born, poorly fed up and even left out to die of hunger and thirst.
At 12 she felt the call of Almighty God to come up and to dedicate her whole life for the needy people of the society who were born but were left uncared for no fault of them.
At 18 she left home and joined the charity of Loreto, an Irish community of nuns with missionary in India. After due training in Dublin she was deputed to India where she took her first vows as a nun on May 24th. 1931 in Calcutta now renamed as Kolkata.
She started the charity of missionaries on October 7, 1950 just after 3 years when India got freedom on 15th. August 1947.
The charities’ first and foremost work was to look after those who had none to care them.
She searched everywhere in the whole city and outside even such children who had none to take care of them in wretched condition. She arranged to bring them in her charity homes and looked after them with sheer love and affection. She got aids, co-operation and assistance from all over the world. The local and central governments of India came forward to help her for cause of the downtrodden people of the society. She organised the missionary, worked sincerely and effectively that in a few years its branches spread all over the world.
She was awarded and honoured by the premiers of many countries including India for her selfless services to mankind.
She got the Nobel Peace Prize in 1997.
She left for heavenly abode on 5th. September 1997 in Kolkata, India.
May her soul rest in peace !
2.Sister Nirmala Joshi
Sister Nirmala Joshi didn’t marry in life as she decided to serve the needy boys and girls who had none to look after them. When she was a student of the missionary school namely Mount Carmel in Hazaribagh in Bihar state (Now Jharkhand state) and most probably on visit of Mother Teresa she was so influenced and impressed by her for so called dedication of her whole life for the cause of humanity through the Missionary of Charity that she established in Calcutta (Now Kolkata), West Bengal, India in 1950 that she made up her mind to join hand to hand her Missionary of Charity in Kolkata.
A moment came in her life that she accepted Catholicism and joined hands in hands Mother Teresa’s Missionary of Charity, Kolkata. West Bengal, India.
She was the first issue of her parents amongst 7 younger sisters and 2 younger brothers.
She was born on 23rd. July 1934 in Nepal in a Hindu Brahmin family. Her father was a senior army officer in British Regime and after independence on 15th. August 1947, he was posted to BMP – I as Assistant Commandant in Ranchi and after a few years he was transferred to BMP – III, Gobindpur, Dhanbad district, Bihar (Now Jharkhand) where the Joshi family lived for a pretty long period and where her younger sisters and brothers were born, brought up and educated primarily up to secondary levels of academy.
Since her younger sisters Savitri Joshi, Manju Joshi, Shanta Joshi and Kanta Joshi were the students of Basic School, Gobindpur and I was too, I came in contact with Joshi family.
I was fortunate enough to see Kusum Joshi (Who became Sister Nirmala Joshi later on) and under whose name Nirmala Leprosy Charitable hospital was set up in Gobindpur by the Missionary of Charity after she was closely associated and deeply involved with Mother Teresa’s in Kolkata for the cause of humanity.
Whenever she came to Gobindpur to see her family, she was always in the Nun’s apron/dress in white sari and blouse like that of Mother Teresa.
She was highly educated. She was an MA in political science. In addition she obtained other degrees from Calcutta University.
After the death of Mother Teresa, the Nobel Laureate in 1997 she was elected to succeed Mother Teresa as Superior General of the Missionary of Charity, Kolkata and she held this post till 25th. March 2009 when German born Sister Mary Prema Pericle took over the charge from her.
Sister Nirmala worked continuously for more than 13 years in this post and during the tenure of her service she spread the mission and messages of the charity all over the world and set up its branches wherever necessary for the cause of humanity.
For her outstanding services to the nation she was bestowed the second highest civilian award “Padmvibhushan” on the auspicious day of 26th. January 2009 by the President of India.
Sister Nirmala Joshi breathed her last on 23rd. June 2015 in Kolkata.
She proved that a man doesn’t live in years but lives in deeds by her sheer dedication for humanitarian causes.
She is no more but hers will be remembered for the years to come.
A sincere tribute to her by all of us for her sacrifice for the cause of humanity!
–END–
Writer: Durga Prasad.
Advocate, Sociologist, Journalist and Social Worker.
Dated 15th. August 2016, Monday.
Wishing all my readers in and around the country and beyond that a happy, peaceful and prosperous 70th. “Independence Day”- Durga Prasad.
