He took a taxi from that signal. “Macho” was still sitting there. He made a bad face and set in the taxi.
Next morning, he woke to a really good morning. His pain was almost lowered but his digestion… uff it was still quacky quacky.
Oh ho. I have swallowed almost 2 swimming pools full “supreme digestive syrup”. But it seems worthless.
Some people told me to visit temples and to do fast, so that god will help me. Now let’s be reasonable.
How god can help me for my loose-motions.
Some people tell me to believe in god. My thesis is that people who claim to believe in god do not really do so. They just wish to believe in god. They somehow feel that their lives are meaningless without god, so they choose to close their eyes to evidence against the existence of god.
There are things that are impossible to do. For example, nobody can cover a two-dimensional surface with two-dimensional circles, without making them overlap. It is impossible to add the numbers two and two and get 666. You cannot go back in time (without passing an infinite entropy barrier). You cannot hold two watermelons in one hand. The numbers of things that are impossible to do are almost infinite. If god were to be enormous, he would be able to do them, but it’s impossible to do so.
Some people say that he can only do things that are logically possible to do, but what are those things? Is it logically possible to walk on water? Is it logically possible to rise from the dead? Is it logically possible to stand above time, space and all other dimensions – and still exist? I’d say that everything which violates the laws of physics is logically impossible.
He placed his gun under his bed last night. He looks around. There was no one in the room. He takes out the gun and gazed at it. He was happy that for the very last deal of his life, he managed to get profit, that too cent percent. He kisses the gun.
Eukkzzz! He spits out as the gun was pickled in dust and dirt.
He cleans the gun and prepares his mind. This time, he had to be at his 100 percent. He plans out how he has to commit it and when.
His idea this time was to shoot himself dead in head, as it is the most sensitive part of the body to fire. But what if I fail? I mean, this is pretty heavy and it’s possible that while I shoot, I lose my mark and shoot at anything else, may be at ANYONE else.
He stunned down. And this gun will make a loud sound also. What if this gun makes that thud, I am not killed and everyone get to know that I was planning to kill myself?
No…No… I don’t want to be caught by them in that situation. I should plan a sure trick.
He thought, thought & thought for whole day and finally finished off with a new way.
How about I shoot myself while hanging?
Yes, I think it’s the best idea to kill. Yes yes… it is the best way. He searches for a rope that can bear his weight.
Mr. Reddy has a vibrant mind which keeps providing him with such tricks. If he was not having that pain and digestion issues, he would be a counselor for those, who are looking for suicidal tricks and would have got numerous awards for giving his valuable services in this field.
I mean just think about it. Mr. Reddy, Deathologist. Ph. D. in ‘Suicidal science’ and author of famous books like – “will it kill??” or “Yeah… it will kill”, amm let’s have one more…what about “1000 ways to fix a rendezvous with God”.
He searched out a piece of rope. It was probably 6-7 feet and seemed to be tough enough. He takes it in his hands, and sees at the fan. I think I should hang myself through this fan. He plans out what and how he has to do it.
I’ll be standing on this stool, with this rope loop in my neck and will shoot myself. I’ll obviously fall and this rope will hang me tight. And I’ll be freeeee…… He smiles on his own death.
Suicide is a form of murder – premeditated murder. It isn’t something you do the first time you think of doing it. It takes getting used to. And you need the means, the opportunity, and the motive. A successful suicide demands good organization and a cool head, both of which are usually incompatible with the suicidal state of mind.
Today is the day for his fourth attempt. It took a long time as his all three previous attempts were performed on the same day only but this time, the trick is unique unlike before, this time he’ll surely die, as he thinks. There was no one in the home.
He was standing on the stool. His legs were shaking but he was ready to take the last breathe of his life. He took out his gun from his pocket.
Yeah, it is the day I have been waiting for. I have to end it, and I have to end it this way.
Gun was pretty heavy to be knobbed by an old man. He was putting all his efforts to lift the gun up to his head. He was lifting as if it is a dumbbell. He somehow managed to lift it up, took it near to his left ear.
God I am going to hear the last sound of my life. I wish it could be a ‘Lady Gaga’… never mind but next time, when I will take birth, please let a ‘Michael Jackson’ be playing in the maternity ward… He smirks, his eyes are filled with tears, and his mind was cool. He closes his eyes, loads the gun, and presses the trigger.
The trigger was a little rigid that he couldn’t press it softly. He puts more power in pressing it.
||||||||| TTHHHAAAYYY…………………………||||||||
|||||||| AAAOOOOO ……NOOOOOOOOOO..|||||||||||
Was everything finished?
Well before you could think of his body hanging on the rope, his legs shaking badly, his eyes came out, his tongue out of his mouth, and his head is crashed like a watermelon with his blood everywhere, let me remind you that the gun was ‘PRETTY HEAVY’.
Mr. Reddy was fallen on the floor. When he pressed the trigger, he could not put up with the quick jerk the gun caused after firing, the bullet hit directly the roof. Before he could actually sense it, (the rope was really very strong, but that old fan……… which was hanging on its last thread), fallen down on Mr. Reddy’s back.
He fell down from just a 2 feet tall stool on which he was standing to hang his body and the fan on his back, aah it was boiling. Mr. Reddy somehow threw that fan off from his body and remain on the floor for next few minutes.
He looks around. The gun is about 6-7 feet away from him. The fan, the stool, and Mr. Reddy….. All were on the floor. That rope in his neck, still tight…. His left knee again started stinging badly.
It has to be the most embarrassing and shameful thing ever. The fact is that you can’t even get a simple task done, on the fourth attempt also. Isn’t it ironic that the embarrassment makes you feel like dying all over again? He breaks down. His kicks the stool so hard, pulls the fan, solves the knot and throws the rope in some direction. He punches himself in the chest. But it causes him nothing but a cough.
But it is life. Whether you want to live it or not, you’ll have to live. Even at the most deadly point of time, when you think everything is over, you may get a new start, and even at a very secure level, you can have everything vanished out. Life is the most unpredictable thing ever. The incredibly strange thing about life is that ‘it stops’, but only when it wants, not when you wish it to. You can get rid of it anytime, but it will get rid of you only once, and that time you’ll be on your last ride. Till then it will give you chances, chances to think, to do and to live.
In the daily tensions of life, we forget to live, we just pass the time, do our routine works and then blames about life being so boring. And when death comes, we again complain that we didn’t live. We are never going to get that extra time to live, we have to take out those extra moments in which we cheer, we dream, we dance, we sing, we love, we care, in short……..’We live’.
I am failed… I am failed…..
Was he actually failed?????
This thought comes in our mind when we face a failure in something that we were trying so hard for. Everything looks stopped and there in no trace of hope and no point to start. You wish to give up to your life. It happens with every single person in this world that at a point in life, he/she wishes to die. Some of them attempt, some accomplish their goal and some fail.
But the fact that you failed may be a blessing. It means that it is not your time to go, that the universe has a bigger plan for you. You have not completed what you were put on earth to do. Don’t worry so much about feeling embarrassed and shameful. You are feeling this way because you are depressed and everything seems so much worse right now. Remember, your thoughts are distorted by the depression. Once you start coming out of the depression, the shame will gradually start to fade. Remember this: The people who matter will understand, and the ones who don’t understand, don’t matter. Many of us here, have been where Mr. Reddy is now, and believe me, he can move on and forward. This is just a bump in the road. The people who really care and love you are not going to judge you negatively; they are just going to be grateful that you did not succeed.
Think about it this way: The only thing you have failed at is not breaking the hearts of your loved ones. They would have been devastated seeing you had taken your life. You have no idea the amount of pain they would have gone through, knowing that you were in such pain and were unable to help you.
But some people are so much determinant about their plans. Mr. Reddy was one of them. He was not accepting the truth that the god is not in mood to meet him. He still has some work to finish, some actions to take and some goals to accomplish.
This is the time for the 5th attempt man- his mind tells him.
No man, you should not go for this. You are not going to die- his heart objects to his mind.
Oh c’mon, you have shortlisted five ideas, why? Because your god directed you to. He knew you will not
succeed in the first four attempts. You should go for the fifth and final one…
But what if you still remain alive? What if again your idea gets abandoned?
No, this time, you’ll succeed.
But there is still chance of a “failure”. Isn’t it?
Yeah. But if this time you fail, you quit… No more suicide attempts then.
But it’s not necessary to…..
It is…it is necessary to accept what the mind says.
Look the heart is in the left side, but it’s all decisions are always right.
Ohk ohk ohkkk…. I am going to attempt it. I have to try out the 5th trick. I should finish what I have started- though Mr. Reddy was not willing to try again but his mind somehow overcame his emotion and prepared him to try it.
Tomorrow, it will be my last day. Yes. Yes. And if I fail, I’ll never try this and will accept that god is there who saves us from wrong decisions. I will witness his greatness if I survive my next attempt.
He decides that he will try for the 5th time and if he doesn’t die, he will never try anymore suicidal trick.
He makes his mind up to go for a walk, may be a last one.
He went to a nearby park. Some kids were playing and a cool wind was blowing. He set down on a bench and closed his eyes.
When he opened his eyes, it was dark. He looked at his watch. It was 8:30 P.M.
He gets up and walks faster to his home.
Sir….. Where you have been throughout the day? I was calling you but you were out of network- his servant asked.
I was in the park…….. One minute, what are you writing? Mr. Reddy asks.
Oh, I was writing you a letter…
What?? But why?? He was confused.
Actually I was continuously calling you for last few hours. But you were out of coverage area. The voice in your phone said- the customer you are calling is out of coverage area. Please try LETTER… so I was…
So you were writing this letter!!!
Yes sir- servant smiles proudly.
Have you ever heard about a sixty year old man, giving a flying kick to someone?
Amm.. No..
Leave the room right now; otherwise you are going to see it live.
The servant laughed at him while leaving the room.
Mr. Reddy took his head in his hands. I think if I had to choose who is intelligent between a donkey and my servant, I am going to choose the donkey. At least it doesn’t have a mouth to piss the sh*t out.
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