61. If packing up was an ordeal at the present centre, then settling down at the new centre was a bigger ordeal. Every transfer was an uphill task and my parents encountered it very often. The point is they managed it upon their shoulders and without passing on the pressure of it upon their children. We, all his children on different occasions had moved from place to place on official and personal transfers and gone through the ordeals. But we had the money power and man power to support us which factor was not available to them in those days.
62. Athimber got admission for Babu Gita Mallika and Ramesh in proper college and convents. Babu went to Govt. Science College, Gita and Mallika got admission in St. Francis Convent in Sadar area and Ramesh went to S F S School. In my case, college education was ruled out as Puna University and Nagpur University were distinctly different and had entirely different syllabi. So it was necessary the entire three years course should be taken as a whole and from the same University. Partly here and partly there was ruled out. Instead parents advised to me take up Rashtra Bhasha Hindi course, to which I readily agreed. All of us got settled into our routines. Some our relatives kept visiting us on different occasions. Dorai Anna was one to be with us for a few days. Little boy Chandru was with us for a small sojourn.
63. Nagpur opened up new vistas for many of us. Right in front of our house there was an open play ground, a ground used by young men and boys in their Khakis, for practicing daily course of exercises, which amused Babu, who otherwise also get attracted to all street players. Let them be snake charmers or street jugglers. Very soon he was one of them. Least we had an idea that this would be a turning point in his life, for the group he joined was a R S S group. Similarly, I on seeing an advertisement in local Newspaper, had applied for a teacher’s post in a local Marathi School by name Sule Mahila Vidyalaya and next day I got appointed there. The funny point is that I did not know Marathi, then also and now also, and I was appointed in a Marathi Medium School with Marathi as medium of instruction.. This was just a stepping stone for my employment. Later I got appointed in Reserve Bank of India. Around the same time, Venu Athimber too, got employed in the prestigious All India Institute of Medical Sciences, at New Delhi. His family moved from Kolar Gold fields to New Delhi. At a later stage in life, Gita anf Mallika too got employed in Nagpur.
64. Unique feature of Govt. Science College at Nagpur was that there prevailed a brother sister concession. If full fees were paid towards Babu’s college fees, Gita, who followed him into the college after 2 years was charged only half of her requirement. Later on, When Mallika and Ramesh joined the same college, they too were not required to pay full payment. I wonder whether such arrangements continue in the present days’ education system. Babu after his graduation went to Chennai and joined the most prestigious college of yore, Madras Institute of Technology, Chrompet, Chennai – an institute of high reputation, which has churned out students like A P J Abdul Kalaam. Babu was the first post graduate in our family. Later Gita too did her journalism course. But when she joined her B. Ed it was at Bhopal. Mallika did her M Sc. (Maths) at the same college. Ramesh started his M Sc, but did not prosecute till completion, as he got an employment offer at New Delhi in Delhi Cloth Mills in its chemical wing. Babu too started his career opening at Delhi only in Hyderabad Asbestos Company. At a later stage and at different times, both kept moving vertically and horizontally in different companies and at different places. Gita got employed initially at Hitavad, a local newspaper, but due to odd working hours, she gave it up. Upon Bharathi’s recommendations, she tried her hand as a temporary typist in NTPC standing for National Thermal Project Corporation. How could she continue the job there when so many children at Saraswathy Vidyalaya Higher Secondary School were waiting to be screwed by her? After all a temporary typist – so she quitted that and hopped on to teaching line. Mallika too got employed. Her cherished dreams in those days were to be a college lecturer but her destiny had tied her to the tail or was it a horn of a star in Bank of India. She was the only one who stood loyal to her job from start to finish – that is till her retirement.
65. Athimber’s office building – Military Engineering Services was just next to my RBI building. When I had joined Hislop College to prosecute my further studies, it was the morning college course. I had to leave the house early at 6-30 am to be at college by 7 am and then rush to office directly from college to be in time before 10-15 am. Athimber used to bring my lunch box to my office every day, much to the envy of my colleagues – who openly appreciated his gestures. He could have very well retained the box with him and asked me to collect it from his desk, but he never did it. Now to look back and visualize those days, I feel quite humbled by his generosity. Similarly, when it was annual closing period, there used to be overtime and without fail, on all those days he would be there to take me home around 9 pm.
66. This journey of Akka and Athimber would have been incomplete without a mention of our darling nephew – Harish. He was born at Nagpur and I had offered to be at the hospital at night. I was given admission in Hislop College in the second year of 3-year degree course under the condition that I would clear the first year by September. For this, Harish helped me by his birth and my presence at the hospital at night. Babu while at college had introduced a host of Tamilians by his membership in an association called NUTSA the achronym for Nagpur University Tamil Students Association. Even I had a taste of being a VIP by holding the post of Vice President of the Association. How long the association lasted and what all it achieved, were all secondary now but the primary offering of the association to us was introducing two great guys – Raju alias Subramanian and Padam alias Kunjita Padam. Raju became part and parcel of our family from the very start of introduction and parents of Padam, hailing from North Arcot District, became very close friends of our family, sharing the same wave lengths of sigh, sorrows and smiles of what life has to offer. Our bondage with them continued for a pretty long time. Raju continues to be one of us even now.
67. For a brief time, my niece and nephew – Sowmya and Bala had studied at Nagpur in Saraswathy Vidyalaya. Later they went off to Delhi. When Bharathi got employed in NTPC, she left her sons both Kamesh and Harish who were too small, to the care of a Helper. But it did not work out properly. So Gita and Mallika who were then students, went to Delhi during summer vacation and at the end of vacation, brought Harish with them. Kamesh had joined the same school where his sister and brothers studied. From then on, Harish stuck to us and was pet kid of all in the family. Grandparents’ affection towards grandchildren was something very special and this was clearly explicit in the bondage between Akka Athimber and Harish. The little lamb Harish would follow wherever Athimber went. His peculiar nature was that whosoever came to the house, he would stick to that person whom the visitor wanted to meet. If Babu’s NUTSA friends came, then he would be with Babu only and if Gita’s friends like Manik Marathe or Chitra Pandit came, then he would stick to Gita or when my colleague Probeer Kumar Nandi came, he would be clinging to me. So was the case with Ramesh‘s Palkar or Mallika’s Bengali Punjabi friends. Needless to say even the visitors were fond of him. He went to the same school where Sowmya Bala studied – Saraswathi Vidyalaya and his teacher also liked him very much. For many years his teacher kept enquiring about him, even after he joined his parents and left India. Looking back now, it appears that even Gods and Goddesses were very fond of him and that is why, this boy of everybody’s delight was plucked in his teen age and left for his heavenly abode. A boy reknowned for his swimming talents had to meet a watery grave is really an irony of fate!
68. No more transfers for Athimber! Can it be taken as good news? May be not. Athimber retired from services. As we were in different stages of life – me on job with RBI, Babu on job elsewhere – I think, Calico Chemicals at Bombay, Gita, Mallika and Ramesh were still students and it was not a dilemma for parents to decide where to settle. Though no more transfers hereafter, his tryst with packing and unpacking continued. In Nagpur alone we had lived in six different locations – at Shankar Nagar two addresses, one at Gokulpeth, then Ramnagar and then, Dharampeth one and finally at RaviNagar that too own house. To my knowledge, Athimber was the only one to have purchased and owned houses at three cities on different occasions – one at Aiyanawaram, Chennai, one at Ravinagar, Nagpur and one at Nasik. But the crude joke was he lived longer in rented houses and had a very brief stay in the houses he owned – be it Nagpur or Nasik. The Chennai house was sold to the tenant living there and similarly, he had to dispose off the houses he bought at Nagpur and Nasik and he moved to Coimbatore. I do not know how he would have felt to give up all contacts in a place grown familiar with and move on to an unknown place – particularly Nagpur. A place where thread ceremony of two of his sons took place and two of his daughters got married and later, five grand children were born, including Harish. Nagpur can forever be proud of its sons (Harish and Santosh) and daughters (Anu, Aruna and Mathangi) of the soil for, they all have grown up, they are holding today the flag of fame high.
69. Athimber upon his retirement, developed a stronger bondage with his nieces and nephews through his sisters and renewed his contacts with his paternal cousins and their children. Very often he went to Madras in connection with groom hunting and in that process, his affinity with them got stronger. One of his nephews, Murthy, had come to Nagpur and stayed with us. It was around when my daughter Aruna was still a baby. He would cajole the baby even when she was asleep and keep muttering very often ‘Kaay Karto” with the result that we changed his name from Murthy to Kaay Karto Moorthy. Since his future was destined to be elsewhere, he left Nagpur.
70. Post retirement, Athimber developed deep interest in Astrology, partly because, his tutor was keen on passing on, all his knowledge to Athimber. He, who had never spent anything on himself or for his comforts, started spending on astrological books. There used to be heated arguments on the interpretations and movements of planets, stars, and their positions and negative positive impacts on life etc., One thing was very clear – it kept them busy. Little they realized that all those who deeply got involved in horoscope and astrology could marry off their children after a long delay, because, astrology mainly relied only on what is to be avoided. Principles and policies — more and more of don’ts than do’s. My parents were caught in the web and were bound by squares of horoscopes which were in reality, horror scopes and they could not come out of depression and despair. They were subjected to public scorn and relatives’ fury and open criticism from various corners. What started as a hobby, continued as a menace – neither could it be forsaken nor could it be held on to. As everything has to come to an end sometime or other, all his daughters – me and my sisters got our Mr. Right, much to their relief. With my elder sister Bhartahi, it was a different case altogether. She got married at a very young age of seventeen and the alliance was fixed by my grandparents. My parents had only to perform the marriage. But somebody commented casually about the dark complexion of the groom as a bowl containing “Rice and black sesame seeds” which deeply hurted my father. My sister was very fair and beautiful and in contrast, my brother in law was dark, but with sharp features. Any amount of convincing by eldest uncle Mani Anna “See what is dark! Gunam Karuppa Niram Karuppa? “did not pacify my father. If only he had known astrology and horoscope match making in those days, probably he would have learnt to ignore such passerby’s comments as sheer nonsense. But Mani Anna’s famous quotation “Gunam Karuppa Niram Karuppa” had remained in our families as a standard phrase from then on and was quoted very frequently by all and sundry.
71. There were good effects also of his obsession with astrology. One of his predictions to his neighbour at Nasik came true and the beneficiary’s joy knew no bounds. His family was passing through a bad time and he consulted my father with his horoscope. All he said was there would be a windfall in his family shortly and his miseries would come to an end very soon and it happened. As there was no hope or scope for such an event, they did not believe but took it as pleasing words of comfort and consolation. A court case which was pending for years in their family was settled amicably and in their favour and that fetched a bounty for the aunty, whom they had been supporting since her retirement. The old lady left the entire legacy to the caretaking nephew. He came running to my father and proclaimed him as a great astrologer. There were some more incidents including one with our house owner at Bhubaneswar. But I do not know the details.
72. Back to Nagpur back ground again! Our life at Nagpur could be defined as golden period, as we had spent most conscience period of our lives there. From the middle of 1964 onwards we had been living here. I am very very sure if any of us visited the same Nagpur now will vouch it to be a totally a different place we may feel as though we are stranded at an unknown land. Nagpur had transformed us in various ways. Can anyone believe of all people Akka would be travelling abroad all all alone? She, who would not accept any eatables from outside and who would not take any of yesterday’s specials, and would always maintain her “holy untouchable status” had to travel far beyond the seas and for hours together in an aeroplane with crumpled legs and blocked ears. She did it! – all for one reason. The marriage of the first granddaughter – Sowmya! Akka was the forerunner in our family to taste foreign waters and be a true foreign returned! Of course next only to Bharathi. But in her case, it was a different thing. They were to be there only and India became a foreign country to them with occasional visits for a very brief period. Now all her grand children are frequent fliers and with Pranav my youngest nephew through my youngest brother, adding one more dimension – Sailing!
73. One thing that I remember about Pranav’s younger days is that as a small boy, he once narrated a mythological story about Shravanakumar and his abundant devotion towards his blind parents and how he cursed the mighty emperor Dasharathan with least hesitation. The manner in which it was dramatized and presented by Pranav and the story chosen by him for the day – both were highly appreciated by all. Whether he retains that talent of story recitation till date is a different matter. I think the occasion was Athimber’s 81st birthday celebration. Since Athimber refused to have ceremonial celebrations with full rituals, Akka did not let go the day as any other routine day. On the contrary, she converted it to a humble Sumangali Prarthanai. For that particular occasion all six of us were present including Bharathi. Some of my uncles and aunties were also present to seek blessings from my parents. After the event, enmass all of us left for Chennai to attend my cousin, Shankar’s marriage and again this function too, was followed by another auspicious event – thread ceremonies conducted by another cousin Susheela for her two sons. Three big events in quick succession and at different locations that too on grand scales – was never seen or heard before. All those who came to seek blessings from Akka and Athimber on the auspicious occasion extended their gracious presence for the other two occasions as well. Only my family was an exemption by its absence for the Poonal, as I was under orders of transfer to report at Hyderabad and had to look for school admission for my daughters in the new place of posting.
74. Similar occasion when all of us had gathered at Coimbatore in the presence of Akka and Athimber was, when Gita and Ramesh had joined hands to perform thread ceremony of their sons, Santosh and Nirmal. Whether there was a family function or not, the grandchildren were having a gala time with each other during the summer vacations, under the aegis of Akka & Athimber, be it Nagpur, Nashik, Aurangabad or Coimbatore. Occasionally, some pleasant surprises are thrown on us like the one occurred very recently. In one of the vacations my daughter Aruna had befriended a girl, years ago at Aurangabad, whom she met by sheer chance at United States Of America, very recently in March 2013.
75. During our stay at Hyderabad, Akka & Athimber had come to see us along with her close friends of Coimbatore, Brindavan Nagar colony. In those days my parents were of firm opinion that when health permits, one should travel as much as possible to all places of pilgrimage. Since Akka and her friends too, would not eat anything from outside, nor even yesterday’s specials (of course, ice cream was an exception), they had to make many short trips in and around Hyderabad. Akka had increased their enthusiasm by narrating to them about an old anecdote of her stay at Paloncha (or was it Palavancha) a place near Ramagundam, where Babu was given accommodation by his office Tata Consultants Services of Engineers and she was able to enjoy holy Darshan of Bhadrachala Rama. But we could not satisfy this wish of her friends. Back home at Coimbatore Akka and Athimber continued to enjoy going on pilgrimages as though it was their LTC (Leave travel Concession) provided by offices. Though Athimber was not very keen on going to places, he did not apply brakes on Akka’s excitement and enthusiasm. During our stay at Thiruvananthapuram, we had gone with them for Guruvayoor – Udipi – Mookambika tours and at Bhubaneswar, they were taken to Puri Jagannath temple, Saakshi Gopal temple etc. These were outstation visits. For local temples, they would set out on their own or with Anu and Aruna even though, they were small girls.
76. I do not know from when it had started. But as long as my memory goes I had seen my father keeping daily accounts accurate. He would chase every dumdi and account for it. His acumen and accuracy had left all of us bewildered but not without a headache for a while. But I found these very traits in other families too. At Mylapore, my uncle Mani Anna and later his son, Chellappa and then his younger brother Sundar were at these money chasing feats. Later I found that my parents in law were also keeping diary, year after year, as a measure of their budgetary control. For sometime my husband Bhuvan also tried his hand, but he filled the gaps with remarks “GOK” (God Only Knows) for the forgotten items. Later I found that the entire diary turned out to be one filled with remarks of GOKs only. Whatever efforts my father or my father in law had put, in keeping the accounts, needless to say, show their painstaking efforts to meet if not all but most of our requirements. More than that, a peep into that account notebook today, tells us how cheap the things were then. An awesome comparison to the present day prices is unavoidable. In spite of cheapness, to make the two ends was a great jugglery, which they only could manage.
77. Athimber was branded as a money conscious person. He would not spend a paisa unnecessarily. As far as possible, he would get things done at home or do things himself. Homefood was preferred to hotels, in Tv, cinemas were available in plenty and free as compared to those on cinema theatres at a preferred price, ironing of clothes at home, purchase of vegetables and fruits from mandies than local markets, cycle or bus than an autorickshaw etc etc..were the focal points where money could be saved. We his descendants in the present generation, have gone comfort conscious and have a lot drifted away from his principle of simplicity. He remained close to nature and therefore remained healthy wealthy and (money)wise, whereas we being comfort conscious given our way to lifestyle problems of blood pressure, diabetes, obese, joint pains… the list is long. Wealthy ok! But not healthy or wise!
78. Athimber, when he passed away in 1999, he was 85 plus. Except for the last six months, he fairly maintained good health with no signs of life-style problems. Thanks to his yogasana practices and self imposed dietary restrictions. Forever he maintained the same thin frame of body. I think from the day he retired or who knows, even earlier, he insisted on being served with cooked rice (?) made of broken wheat – Godumai saadam. Akka used the hand grinding machine for making rawa. Flour mill ground rawa was found to be very thin and was not suitable for serving wholesome food. So it was her daily dose of exercise to grind wheat grains at home. For the morning breakfast, it used to be Ragi porridge for my father. The only thing which others did not appreciate was his fancy for munching raw garlic. But he stuck to it. Akka on the contrary shunned both onion and garlic. But she too had maintained herself in good health – but at times, her erratic blood pressure and pulse rate would put her on low key. Both Athimber and Akka had cataract operations done on them at different points of time and at different places. Athimber also underwent Hernia operation, probably at Aurangabad and he had one more surgery done at Nagpur earlier, which was overseen by Doctor Ramya, who happened to be my colleague Revathy Seshadri’s second daughter. Mallika at that time was married and was in her in laws’ place. She had a tough time in running around and managing two households in addition to her heavily laden office management woes. With woes begone, after Athimber’s discharge, Akka could get back to her daily routine of Pujas.
79. Akka hailing from a family of daily worships as part and parcel of daily life, would stick to her holy untouchabilty, puja rituals (madi achaarams) with fasts and feasts, – many times fast and sometimes feast generally at the closing ceremony of the vows she observed (Udyaapanai). Added to these were the do’s and don’ts of kitchen chores, generally termed as “pathu eightu” or to be more precise “echai thuppai”. She was an ardent follower of strict rules of all rituals. For every little problem, she would make a vow and keep a fast. Eight fasts in a seven day week, was very common with her, as ekadashi and krithigai or chaturthi and weekly fasting day, amavasya and some other occasion for fast etc, would coincide on a single day. We all three daughters had maintained some fast or other, in the name of some prayer or other. Though personally, I had no inclination for such offerings, I had done it to please Akka only, rather than appease those Gods and Goddesses. Doing puja at home was one thing and performing some worshipping rituals at temples, small or big, was a different thing – like offering dresses (Paavaadai to Amman) lighting lamp on lemon skin after extracting the juice and giving holy bath to Goddess at Gokulpeth, Nagpur, offering a betel leaf garland to Hanuman idol at Cement Road, Nagpur and sometime taking curd rice to offer at a Hanuman temple at a far off place at Seminary Hills, Nagpur, are just to mention a few. May be my sisters too would have shared the same experience and felt the same way. Akka had no misgivings and had least hesitations in making offerings of such nature. Her frequent visits to Tekdi Ganapati and Itwari Balaji at Nagpur bore testimony to her undaunted faith.
80. My husband Bhuvan was angry with her for one reason – how could she make a vow of prayer to Tirupati Balaji that upon fulfillment of her wishes ie my marriage, she would send the daughter and the son in law to Tirupati for a holy Darshan – without consulting him, he being the son in law. How could she bind him in her prayers, without even knowing the person or his views. She should have made it expressly clear about these facts before the marriage itself. Later on, I understood that my parents in law were informed about it – but they took it for granted that the cost would be borne by my parents. When a similar incident happened though slightly different in my daughter’s marriage, it did not hurt me much.
To Continue Click on Page Below…
