Fate and Sakura
Go Where Your Heart Is!!
After that conversation with aunt Shirley and grandma I began dodging them. I would only meet them if there was a need or else I would stay away from them. To kill my loneliness I took off to the mountains on horse back. I would stay there till dusk everyday and only return home for supper, bath and sleep.
Sometimes it had been for weeks I would not see my family members. Grandpa has some good cattle herds up in the mountains so it was a great outback experience for me. Sometimes I would stay up till morning with the caretakers in their camp. I had some experience of camping in Hokkaido so this was actually fun for me.
Now my days away from home started increasing with time. Summer had turned to autumn and was nearly hitting winter. Uncle Tom used to come over as well to check things but especially to check my whereabouts. Once he came up and started scolding me for spending time with the workers. Eventually it turned into a heated argument. I wouldn’t have done so but when he started threatening the workers that he would shoot them if I come over next time I couldn’t hold it.
I said, “I come here on my own will! They have nothing to do with that. Stop bulleying them!”
Upon hearing that uncle Tom got enraged with fire and said, “Do not tell me what to do and what not! I know what I am doing and I see nothing wrong with that. You should know your place and if you weren’t my brothers son…….!”
He was trying to say the next words when I intervened and said, “If am not your brothers son then what? You would have done what with me? Now I am not a boy anymore!ok! or I could say if you weren’t my fathers brother then you won’t be standing on your feet right now!”
Hearing that statement uncle Tom leapt on me like an angry bull. He was a big man but was too clumsy to move and relied upon his body weight to outwit his opponent. I dodged his blows and time on time kept on saying,
“Don’t do it…! I’m warning you…!”
He kept on charging on me and everytime missed his balance. I smiled within myself seeing how difficult was it for him to even fist fight. The workers also had a chance to get some entertainment and very quickly they came to know that this man can only bark and with the gun can rule anyone. Soon the men began giggling which infuriated uncle Tom further. He started panting and puffing as he grew tired.
I said, “Leave it uncle Tom! It’s not your day today!”
Knowing he can’t beat me on fist, he started passing remarks to me regarding my mother. Now that was enough for me, I turned around and punched him between his eyes. He fell back and lay there in blank.
I said, “Never talk about my mother you piece of crap!”
He was trying to get up and I saw blood flowing out of his nose. He started again saying,
“ Your father was a dog and your mother was a bi**h….!”
I didn’t wait for his next words to come out and gave him another shot on the previous target and this time he lay there longer.
I said, “ I told you not to say anything about my mother and next time you say anything about them, I will forget that you are an uncle of mine!”
The workers stood back in silence giving me way as I made my way out.
“Don’t worry what this crap says men, I will be back tomorrow again! Now I need a shower and some sleep!” I said and left the camp site.
I came home and grandma asked me about the whereabouts of uncle. I didn’t say anything and went straight to the bathroom. I could hear uncle Tom’s voice later. I didn’t say anything and went to my room after shower. All night he was complaining to the ladies and at times making me aware of his dominance in the house. I held the pillow over my head and went to sleep.
In the morning there was a knock at my door. It was aunt Shirley. She came inside and in a very soft tone asked me what happened. I didn’t want to tell her but she insisted saying that she does not believe her husband. I told her everything which happened at the camp site. Grandma joined us later but it wasn’t for long when grandpa marched into my room. The ladies left at once. Grandpa sat on the chair by my bed and asked me,
“Ryan, did you punch uncle Tom at the mountains?”
I started to say the it was his fault but grandpa shunned me out and asked again,
“Did you or did you not punch your uncle?”
I looked into his eyes and replied, “Yes I did!”
Grandpa banged on the shelf next to him almost knocking the lamp over. He started saying that I was wrong for letting my hands upon my uncle. He kept on saying that uncle was much older than me and I should ask him for forgiveness. I told grandpa what had happened at the mountain but the old man was adamant on his decision. He told me if I do not then I cannot stay in the house any longer. He left the room telling me to apologize before supper.
I stayed on my bed with grudge held up high in my chest. I can apologize to uncle for punching him but I cannot forgive him for uttering those words regarding my mother. I know she ran away with someone but that doesn’t give him the right to apply on me. Grandma and aunt Shirley soon came into my room with breakfast. They sat holding my hand each.
Grandma looked me into my eyes and said, “Maybe going to Japan would be better for you now!”
I looked at her and aunt and then asked them, “You people knew my mother right! Can you please tell me why she had gone?”
Aunt Shirley said, “You know the reason why she left son! Then why do you want hurt your wounds again! Just forget her and that would be better for you!”
“No! I really wanna know about my mother! Was she really what you people are saying? If you are right then why I felt hurt when uncle Tom said those words to me?” I asked them.
Grandma started rubbing my shoulders gently and then said, “Every child on this earth wouldn’t like anything said against their parents and especially their mother son! You felt the same way too! It’s natural! Your uncle would have felt the same thing if you would have said it to him but you are far greater person than he is!”
I looked at grandma and aunt for a while and then asked them, “ I will not stay here longer! There is a friction already now! But something inside me is saying that it is not what you had told me about my mother! I haven’t seen her or actually experienced her warmth! You two are the meaning of mother for me everytime I hear that word! So please for godsake tell me the truth…. atleast now!”
Both ladies looked at each other and knew that I will not calm down now regarding this matter. Aunt Shirley got up and closed the door. She spoke softly but in a firm manner.
“I don’t know whether it’s the instinct or just a curiosity in your mind right now regarding your mother! Yes she left you when you were very small but she didn’t run away with someone!”
I was astonished to hear that so I asked them, “Then why you had to make up that story!”
Grandma held my hand and said, “Your mother was from a poor family! Actually they were our labourers! Your dad had secret relationship with her and made her pregnant! Upon learning that your grandpa grew very angry with them and banished your mother’s family from the farm! Your father fought with your grandpa and followed your mothers family to Loussiana. There you were born! Over here your grandpa was losing heaps in business and really needed your father! So he fabricated a scheme!
He called your parents over here telling them that he had forgiven your father and had accepted your mother as a family member! Things were going so smoothly that we never thought what fate would do later! After two years your grandpa started a trading business in New York! He sent your father over there to manage it! but that nasty old man, sometimes I feel disgusted to call him my husband!
He still had those grudge against your mother..! He tricked her into the barn asking her to get the shovel he had left earlier! Poor child didn’t know that a group of demons were awaiting on your grandpa’s command to devour her! they gang raped her repeatedly leaving her half dead! When I noticed that she had gone to the barn for long I went to check by myself! There I saw her lying half-naked on the hayheap! Your grandfather soon came and started beating her up accusing her of adultery and immoral acts! I begged him to spare her but he didn’t listen! He told her to leave the farm immediately or else he would call the police!”
Grandma couldn’t hold herself and started crying. She regained her strength and said,
“ Your mother fled to the mountains! I ran after her but she never listened! Two days later the workers came down with her body! She committed suicide!”
Grandma could not say any further. She was already exhausted and clutched her breast trying to overcome the hidden pain. Aunt Shirley continued,
“When your father returned from New York, your grandpa told him his side of the story! He did not mention about the suicide but instead told him that she ran away with one of the workers! Your uncle became your grandpa’s witness saying he had caught her many times spending time with different men in the barn! Your father didn’t believe them and reacted the same way as you are doing today!
We didn’t hide anything from him and right here we told him everything! Upon learning what your grandpa and uncle had done he questioned them! But your grandpa had other plans! When he couldn’t convince your father he asked his workers to beat him up! We rushed to the scene for help but couldn’t do anything! Somehow your father managed to escape from their claws and till this day he had never set his foot on this farm! We know where he is but never mentioned it to your grandpa or uncle!”
Grandma regained her strength and in a soft trembling voice said, “ Your grandpa took a pledge to instill hatred for your parents in your heart, but he didn’t realize that one day fate will take it’s turn on him!”
I looked at these two ladies filled with anger asking myself why they hid it from me? Atleast they should have told me way before. If I had known all about this then I would have never left Hokkaido whatever the consequences.
I told them, “Why had you kept this secret from me? All my life I had questioning myself about my parents! Only answer was whatever I heard from you peoples mouth! I hated them! But now I hate myself more!”
Aunt Shirley answered sobbingly, “ What could we do, Ryan? Tell me? We were helpless in front of your grandpa and uncle! Just put yourself in our place and think! What would have you done?”
I was still puffed up with anger and replied in a bitter manner, “Atleast I wouldn’t have hidden this for so long!”
I went out of the room banging the door behind. I could see uncle Tom out in the verandah through the lace curtains. I went straight out towards him. I wanted to ask him why he had done such a thing? If he had retaliated I would break his neck this time. I dashed out of the door gaining everyones attention outside and went straight to uncle Tom. He was overwhelmed by my approach and stepped back a bit and just as I was about to reach him grandma and aunt Shirley came out in a rush.
I was just few inches away from uncle Tom’s face. I turned around and saw the pleading gesture in both ladies eyes. I took a deep breath and said,
“I’m sorry uncle Tom! I was wrong to hurt you! Please pardon me if you can!”
I stepped aside and walked away from there with my eyes glued to my grandma and aunt Shirley. Uncle Tom didn’t move an inch for a while and then regaining himself he went to the farm. I didn’t go to farm that day and spent whole day in my room. Just before supper aunt Shirley came into my room.
She said, “Supper is ready! If you can come and join us!”
I looked at her and said “yeah am coming in a moment! Just give me a moment!”
As I was getting off my bed aunt Shirley came closer to me and whispered, “We will come tonight here! We have something of your interest! Ok!”
I didn’t say anything and went out. I didn’t stay long at the dining table. Uncle and grandpa were out in the town attending a meeting. Grandma and aunt talked in normal tone and at times were extra friendly. I hated every time they tried to do that. I was treated like a very important guest. Despite feeling uncomfortable I quickly finished my supper and headed straight to my room. Grandma said,
“Oh Ryan, if you need anything we would bring up for you?”
I replied coldly, “No thanks!” and walked away.
I wasn’t long in my room when these two ladies came. They gave a soft knock on the door and entered. Grandma came close to me and held my hand. I tried to resist but she didn’t want to leave, and in the end I decided to let her hold it. she said,
“I know you are feeling very angry right now and you have all the right to! We were wrong for not letting you know before and we are very sorry about it!”
Now I was feeling bit relaxed since I could sense that they had realized their mistake. Still obstinate about my feelings I didn’t want to speak. Aunt Shirley added,
“We spoke about you whole day and am very proud of you for not laying hand on your uncle”
I thought to myself, lucky they came out or else it would be a different scene by now. I said,
“Yeah I was angry I didn’t what I would have done unless you two didn’t show up!”
Grandma added, “Well you did a fine job Ryan! You should not do something which does not suit you! You have a brighter future and you don’t need to spoil it for such people! trust me son! God has something for them, like he has something for you!”
I turned around and asked grandma, “Do you still believe in God doing something to them? He didn’t do anything till now so what will he do next? Where was he when my mother was crying for help? Where was he when my father was trying to seek justice? Seriously grandma I don’t believe in him for doing anything good for me! I believe everything which happened to me was a mere coincidence or sheer luck! If had something good for me then why he is not doing anything?”
As I finished with my statement aunt Shirley took over in a firm tone,
“Don’t blame god for your miseries Ryan! Up till now can’t you see it was he who did everything for you! First surviving the crash, then keeping you safe in enemy lands, bringing you here and discovering about your parents! Doesn’t it make any sense to you? You are just lost at the moment because you are angry but think about it in a calm manner! We don’t want any harm to come to you! We know whatever happened it wasn’t your fault and we also couldn’t do anything about it!
We feel sorry for you and want to help you out if only you could listen to us rather then being lost in your own assumptions! We came here tonight to tell you that Sgt. Hayden sent a message that he wishes to talk to you earlier today! Me and your grandma went to his place and found out that he wishes to take you to Japan next month!” grandma added from there,
“ Actually he didn’t want to tell us but I made him helpless and forced him to tell us!” Aunt Shirley took over from grandma,
“And we told him that Ryan wishes to go as soon as possible!” she gave me smile with sparkling eyes.
I was lost for words as I couldn’t believe that it was happening for real. I looked at grandma and she said,
“Yes my child! We lost your father and mother once but do not want to lose you! This time you go where your heart is! You do what your heart wants to!” and aunt Shirley continued,
“..and marry whom your heart desires! Yes this trait you had got from your parents and we wish to continue that!” She gave me a big hug and said,
“ now smile up son, for tomorrow your dreams will come true!”
I hugged them, speechless and do not know how to handle my emotions. All I could do was to hug them tightly and I believe they got my message from the heart. They left the room at the sound of the vehicle approaching. Grandpa and uncle Tom had returned and they didn’t want them to know about my leaving soon.
Aunt Shirley said, “ They are here so we will talk about this in the morning! So sleep tight tonight! Ok! Good night!”
I replied “goodnight!” to both of them and gave the a short hug and kiss before they went. I could hear uncle Tom’s voice and grandpa asking him to make a drink. They were busy yarning about the meeting and stuff while I lay on my bed watching the ceiling. I thought whether this is true. Am I dreaming or something. If it is really happening then I should be thankful to grandma and aunt. Maybe it’s God who had done all this afterall. Ofcourse grandpa wouldn’t allow me to marry a foreigner so it could be fate now turning tides around. It could be possible that I had to return home to learn about my parents before I take the next step in my life. I should go where my heart is.