Fate and Sakura – Confirmation

Fate and Sakura

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Chapter 6

Confirmation

Ever since Hiroto told me about Aiko’s feelings towards me fear and panic both started residing in my heart. Though Hiroto had mentioned that she likes me but Aiko never mentioned about it or gave me any hint. And ofcourse what will the family say about it? Will they accept me as a ‘Gaijin’ marrying their daughter? I always asked this questions to Hiroto who in turn always said that

“ Why are you worried about it? You are already accepted in the family!”

Well thanks from his side but what about Aiko? She rarely spends time with me alone. How can I know whether she likes me or not? So I told Hiroto that when spring season comes three of us should go to the hills to get the food. There I will ask her about her feelings towards me. Hiroto agreed and we started waiting for the winter to end. Now I was looking at Aiko from a different perspective. I didn’t want to be ambitious but I searched for the answers in her. Even the smile she gives everyday now seemed different though she had been doing the same for past two years. I didn’t want to be noticed by the family about my feelings towards her so I often tried to ignore her but I didn’t realize that Aiko felt hurt everytime I did that.

It had been accumulating till one night, while I was busy playing with the children in the room after telling them the story she came into the room and commanded them to go to bed. I had never seen her like that before but maybe she is like that when we were not around. However her tone was bit high gaining Hana’s attention who came into our room to ask what was the matter. Aiko told her that it’s late and children were very noisy. Hana told the children to go to their beds and requested Aiko to bring us our tea. I saw disobedience in her eyes but she went to the kitchen to bring our tea. Hana soon left telling us that we had to wake up early next morning and visit the field for inspection. Aiko came soon as her mother left but the fury was still raging in her eyes. She didn’t say anything and served Hiroto and Sato their tea first and then came to me. She did not smile and she did not even look at me. Her hands were trembling not with cold but with the intimidation I had caused to this goddess.

As she was serving me I held her hands with mine. The intensity of her tremble increased but with a much changed frequency. She was hiding her gaze from me but I kept on looking at her. She removed her hands from mine and placed the tea cup on the floor next to me and left without looking at me with a bleeding heart I suppose. Now I know that she loves me and I don’t need anymore confirmation. Being pleased and satisfied I turned around but to my surprise I saw Hiroto and Sato staring at me as if their eyes would pop out any instance. After a while I smiled at them and they came to me with a jovial mood. I silenced them since we didn’t want to wake the family up at this hour. Hiroto was really the happiest of all and kept on saying

“I told you! I told you!”

and I hugged him for a long time saying “Yes my brother! You were right!”

Sato was really puzzled and kept on asking “ How come…?”

We stayed awake whole night explaining him how it happened, when it happened and what he shouldn’t do yet which was the most important of all. I guess we slept only for an hour when Jako woke us up. Feeling very exhausted and displeased with waking up early we slowly went out to the fields. But the feeling of the night was still hiding behind our face before Sato asked Hiroto to light up the cigar. Hiroto complained that not now but he kept on insisting. I left them fighting and kept on walking towards the field. In the dim light of the snow covered fields I saw patches of earth across the field.

Now the snow is melting and spring is around the corner. I looked up to the sky and marveled the colours of nature. Up on the east the rising Sun tore the grey blankets. The sunrise meant a lot to me today for it was a new day for me, a new breath and a new life. The air did not smell so fresh before. Soon I was joined by Hiroto who also kept his eyes on the east and put his hand on my shoulders confirming a new beginning for all of us. I turned and smiled at him and saw the first acceptance in his eyes. Sato broke our moment by complaining that why he is always left to do all the work by himself.

We smiled at each other and Hiroto told him “ Because you are always dodging around!”

We laughed and later joined him.  We kept on working till it was mid-morning and later Hitomi came running to us. She came to call us for morning meal which was bit weird since it’s always Aiko who did it. However we didn’t say anything and returned home. After washing our hands and feet we sat at the dining area where Hana and Hitomi served us with the morning food. Hiroto turned around and asked for the whereabouts of Aiko and Hana replied saying that she is not feeling well this morning. We didn’t ask anything else and ate our food.

The same scene was in the evening and Aiko was nowhere to be seen. We didn’t ask Hana again because that would open up room for curiosity. I thought Aiko must be sick but didn’t have the courage to go and see her. But the same routine turned into a week and then slowly into another. I didn’t see Aiko for ten days now. Now I was growing concern about it and so was Hiroto. He met her often but she never came in my sight. I thought that she must be angry with me or maybe didn’t like the way I held her hand. So inorder to apologize I asked Hiroto to tell her that I want to see her.

Hiroto did what I had requested but to our dismay she refused to talk to me. I grew more concerned and disheartened. Now for sure I knew that she does not have the same feelings towards me as I imagined. I felt very low and disgusted for I had lost my trust in her. So I decided to stop thinking about her and tried to forget everything. But the forgetting part was bit difficult. The memories and her face kept on coming more and more in my mind everytime I tried to forget her more and more. What was this? I kept asking to myself? Am a grown up man, matured and can make decisions about myself so how come this decision of mine is not happening?

I was lost and didn’t know whom to ask for help? If I do anything or react in a strange way I will be noticed by the family. I even can’t break their trust for they have done so much for me. They gave me a new life. But I wondered that I should have been killed at the same time rather having this feeling which is killing me softly now. I wished that I should have been captured by the Japanese soldiers or even now if they come for me I would gladly go with them.  I kept myself as I was to the family.

I worked in the fields, helped Jako and Hiroto, laughed with them, ate and drank with them and every night told children stories. Doesn’t matter whether I told them the same story before but I did my part. Now sometimes I could see glimpses of Aiko but I dared not to look at her or even talk to her. She wants me to stay on the other side and so I will. Hiroto noticed it but never asked me about it.

One day I was out in the fields. Now the snow had melted and we were busy preparing the field for ploughing. We chatted and shared jokes then suddenly Sato asked me about Aiko. I stopped for a while and then told him that it’s over between us. Sato laughed and said that it’s not over because it’s just the beginning. I was confused how come this man is saying it’s not over but just a beginning. Didn’t he notice that it’s over two weeks now Aiko and myself didn’t come into any contact. Actually we don’t want to see each others shadows even. So I asked him

“Why are you saying that? She doesn’t even love me!”

To that he laughed even louder. Hiroto got angry on him and asked him to shut up. I calmed Hiroto and asked Sato why is he saying all this when it is quite obvious that Aiko does not have any interest in me. We waited for a while for Sato to empty his lungs filled with laughter. And then he smiled at me and said

“ You don’t know anything but I know her much better than their parents! Aiko is more than a daughter to me!”

We kept quiet and waited for what he was going to say next.

“Who is preparing your meals everyday and makes sure you get the best meals? It’s Aiko! Who washes your clothes? It’s Aiko! Who cries every night while everyone is sleeping? It’s Aiko!”

We stood there silent wondering at Sato’s words.

“Yes people think that I am a fool! Yes I am fool to the whole world but not that much to see the fire of love burning inside two more fools in the world!”

he laughed after making that statement and then became quite looking at the ground saying

“Aiko didn’t like the way you held her in front of me and Hiroto. She didn’t want anyone to know about her secret love for you. She is still a girl and these things are sensitive.”

I was struck by Sato’s words and yes now I can say that this fool is not a fool at all. I ran down to him and on my knees I sat in front of him. I took hold of his hands and asked him what should I do? Sato looked at me and smiled and then told me “ Right now I want to smoke!”

And laughed out loud. He then told me

“ Be confident my boy! She will come back to you. She just needs a bit of time and time you should give her.”

But he warned me that if I do anything stupid and hurt her then he will cut my throat and gave me a hug. I felt warm about the hug not that Aiko still loves me but about whatever Sato said was just a joke. Hiroto joined us for group hug and then sat down on the field together laughing and cracking up jokes. That evening Sato and Hiroto made up a plan for me and Aiko to meet up at some place. The plan was that I will accompany Hiroto to the hills and later Sato will bring Aiko. Later Sato and Hiroto would return home to get something which Sato had forgotten. Meanwhile Sato will tell Aiko to help me gather the wild vegetables near the stream.

I was okay about the plan but didn’t know what should I say to Aiko. That whole night I couldn’t sleep because my belly felt bitter about things going to happen the next morning.  Early morning Sato woke us up and went out. Hiroto smiled at me like he always does and then we got up and got ready to go out. We went to the field first and after some time Sato came alone. I thought that Aiko had refused to come but Sato told me that she will come around midday but we have to go straight to the hills after the morning meal. We worked till it was mid-morning and at the sight of Hitomi we stopped everything and prepared to return home for meals. Sato and Hiroto asked me to stay with the plan or else they won’t help in the future. They must have guessed about my doubts regarding this idea but still they remained adamant about it.

Quietly we finished our meals and then Hiroto signaled me to go before looking at Sato for confirmation. On our way to the hills Hiroto told me about females expected behaviour and cultural norms. Girls should not approach a man for any relationship. It’s the males who decide whom they shall marry. Ofcourse the decision lies with the parents as well as the girl. With the approval of both then only marriage could take place. Hiroto told me if I wish to form any possible relationship with his sister then I should be the one to approach his family not Aiko doing it by herself. Now the picture was quite clear and no doubts I have to make the move.

I could feel the pulse of confidence finding it’s rhythm again within me. I was moved by both Sato’s and Hiroto’s words and now am ready for my turn to come. It felt quite funny because I felt the same dash of nervousness coated with courage and fear as I did before going to war. Same feeling but the scene is different. But to me this one looks more frightening. However we waited for Sato and Aiko to arrive and in meantime we looked for wild food so that no one suspects about this plan.

It was just around midday I suppose when Hiroto signaled me about the approaching visitors. I felt a lump in my throat which could not be swallowed. As they drew nearer I felt more uncomfortable with all my confidence lost in the air at once. I saw Aiko walking slowly behind Sato carrying a large basket. Her face was drawn to the ground which made it clear that she also was not comfortable about meeting me. Sato arrived with a big grin on his face as always. He went around later complaining that we had been wasting time and did not collect much food. Hiroto replied instantly maybe next time he should gather the food.

Well it was obvious that in early spring and food are still scarce in amount but just to keep Aiko away from getting suspicious about this plot Sato had to spark up an argument. Actually that is Sato’s style as always. Aiko had brought us food but she did not serve us like before. She left the food under a tree and went few yards away to see newly bloomed cherry blossoms. We sat down to eat and while eating Sato whispered to us that after the meal he will take Hiroto back home pretending that he forgot to attend the stable this morning. If Jako finds out then it will be a big trouble so he will rush home with Hiroto to attend to the stables which already had been attended in the morning. While they are away I should talk to Aiko and say out what I have to.

Normally it takes around half an hour to reach home if they rush and since this is a plan job they will give around two hours to spend with Aiko. Two hours seems quite a lot of time but don’t know whether it would be enough because Aiko does seem like in the mood of talking. After the meal Sato and Hiroto did what was the plan about. Sato told Aiko that he has to go with Hiroto now or else Jako would be very cross with him in the evening. He told Aiko to be with me till they come back and help me in collecting wild food. Aiko did not have much choice because Sato really created a desperate scene. She agreed to stay behind with me while these two returned home.

Before going Sato whispered to me “ She is waiting for me so be a man!”

After they were gone we watched them silently for a while. Aiko still appeared to be unwilling to say a word behaved really strangely. At a moment it felt like she is trying find something on the ground looking here and there trying to avoid my attention. I also had my emotions coming crushing down on me. Everytime an opportunity pops up confidence sneaks out from the backdoor of my heart. It went around for half an hour or so then finally I broke out the silence. I asked her

“Hey Aiko! Why don’t you come over here and help me find some wild food?”

she looked at me bluntly and said “okay!” in a soft voice. Though I did not hear it but I could read her lips. She walked to me slowly and pretended to pick up wild vegetables and shoots. As she came closer I smiled and pretended to be normal like I used to be. I asked her how much we need for today. She cooperated in gesturing with her hands. “Great!” I said and divided the area between us to collect vegetables and told her that we meet after half an hour. She agreed and we went out to collect vegetables. Well I did mention the time but really found difficulty in finding wild food. So anything which looked nice I took it. in half an hour my basket was quite full and I returned to the spot where I told Aiko to meet. I was there much earlier and had to wait for her for another twenty minutes.

At first I thought she must have returned home but I saw I dim figure at a distance and instantly identified it to be her from the clothes she was wearing. I waited patiently for her and when she arrived I gave her the usual smile. She looked tired and placed the basket on the ground. Tired but arrogant she was for not starting up conversation with me. Soon I asked her if she was tired. She nodded without looking at me but I continued to talk with her. I talked about the beautiful mountains and the river and many other things which did not matter much to her. I was feeling disappointed by her arrogance now so I stopped talking and started emptying my collection.

It was my poor vegetable selection which had brighten up her face. For the first time in three or so weeks I saw a smile on her face. She laughed at my collection and could help herself from hiding her face from which she had been doing for a while. She came closer to me and told me that everything I collected was rubbish but one particular plant if it is consumed will make me have loose bowel system for a long time. She laughed and laughed while I kept on watching her. How great she looked with that brightness replenishing on her face again. She didn’t finish her laughter when I suddenly asked her to marry me. She stopped laughing and gave me a stern look. I cursed myself for what I had said and started apologizing. Aiko covered my mouth with her hands in the middle of the apologizing process and came closer to my ears and in soft tone uttered

“What took you so long?”

My eyes widened with these words and a great load had been lifted from the shoulders. I looked into her eyes which were sparkling like fresh morning dew. I felt like that I was the happiest man on the planet at that moment. I didn’t say anything and kissed her eyes softly. Emotions of both broke loose and every tear drop seemed like a waterfall now. We could not control it and while we were having that moment of confirmation Sato’s voice could be heard. We pretended that nothing had happened and I started helping Aiko with the vegetables. Hiroto joined us in sorting out and when Aiko was not noticing I nodded with a smile that I had got her confirmation. He smiled and signaled Sato about the plan had been successful. Sato smiled at me and it seemed like he was telling me “see I had told you!”  We spent another hour at the hills and returned home. Now Aiko joined us in our conversation and like before we walked home with lots of laughter and ofcourse infuriating poor Sato. But if it wasn’t for him I wouldn’t have been able to get Aiko’s confirmation. I would never forget this stupid old man.

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