Memories of past still imprint in my mind , heart and soul.
I could never forget the incidences that turned my life upside down.
Each morning I wake up with same question, go out on work, return , relax and put off light remained unanswered.
I believe, everyone is alone in their own space where they hardly visit or never plan to return.
Life doesn’t change in years of hard work or efforts , if it has to change it will in just fraction of seconds which
I witnessed closely that night which seems to be more darker that it was. Time was like frozen ice , which awaits the air of suspense to melt it further.
Time never spare you for what you are or what you would like to become, it has it own way to mistreat you , and Guilt is like steam , impacts much more than real fire.
Though its a past , but guilt knock my door every day , smiling on my jeopardy.
On 11th June 2016 , I turned 54 years.
I have achieved almost everything I wished for. I have been successful entrepreneur in India.
In 2013 , I was listed in top ’50 Billionaires in Asia’.
In 2014, Ranked # 3 as ‘Highly influential person in South Asia.
I am founder and CEO of leading Clothing company ‘ TryUs’ and Chairman of Pharmaceutical chain ‘ Health4u’.
Due to my consistent hard work , ability to invest at low time and ‘Go-Getter spirit’ made me an inspiring factor for many upcoming business mind.
Some says I have ‘Midas touch’ , as Every time I go on holiday , I open a new business (or) venture.
Mergers, acquisition and tie-up are my favorite business task.
I reach a stage where my decision not only change the face of my own ventures but also impact country’s economy to larger extent.
I feel honored by being a ‘Padma Bhushan’ , the 3rd highest civilian award in India.
On occasion of my birthday today, my daughter ‘Shweta’ organised a party in our farmhouse tonight. All distinguished people will gather tonight to celebrate my 54th Birthday.
‘Farmhouse ?’ !!!! — After many years I will be going back there. I ignore that place and try not to think about it.
That farmhouse and me have a connection .
To everyone , I am very rich , reputed , successful person in all the spheres. But who will ever believe that I struggle daily to find an answer to a question which pinch me every minute of my life.
I wake up everyday with same question and sleep off unanswered.
It all started from that ‘Farmhouse’………
“Exactly 30 years back , I threw my birthday party in our farmhouse , I was just 24 yr that time and was enjoying my adolescence.
My friends was happy to see such a big party ,including drinks. we called off around 2 am.
I was driving back home with around 8-9 peg down. Road was clear , I was in half of my senses and full my speed.
I had beer bottle in my hand while driving back to keep the momentum. Suddenly I saw a lady crossed the road in hurry, I applied brakes with full power but couldn’t do enough and hit her. She fell off on footpath. It all happened in a flash.
Gathered some courage , I stepped down from my car. No one was there to help her out due to late night. She was crying hard ,
I ran close to her but by then she went unconscious. She was bleeding very hard. I immediately took her to nearest hospital in my car.
That time , I didn’t cared about any police case (or) any legal potholes. For me saving her became the priority.
Doctor immediately shifted her in ICU and started treatment. Due to fear and panic I didn’t went home and stayed by her, waited on outside bench.
Doctor ordered blood test and there were in acute need of A+ positive blood group. Constant call were exchanged with other hospitals and finally they could able to get the required blood.
By this time it was morning 6:00 am.
Dr. Subhash , who attended her first , called me in his cabin. He Looked very tensed .
I asked – ” Dr , Will she be alright , what happened exactly , how severe was accident to her ?”
After a pause he replied ” She would be fine , but her ankle is broken so she could walk for 4 months until it get replaced’
‘ Any other concern ? ‘ – I asked immediately
‘ I am not sure how it is possible , but blood sample , pointed out another strange thing ! , She is detected with ‘HIV Positive’ as well ‘ – He told.
‘What ?? , but how can it be , this was an accident and you are speaking something out of scope I believe’ – I asked
‘We make all the check at once on blood sample, and she was found positive’ – He explained.
In our 20 minutes conversation , picture became clear to me, she was already suffering from HIV and met with accident with my car .
After a while , I was allowed to meet her. I slowly crawled in ICU room.
Her face was still and head was covered by cloth.
I reached near her and asked
‘ How you are feeling now , I am sorry for all this, but you will be fine . I will be there for you until you get normal’
She rolled her eyes slowly on me and murmured ‘ My mother , my mother , medicines …… ”
She kept on saying all these many times. I couldn’t get the exact meaning out of it .
I asked – ” What happened to your mother , where you stay ? ”
She replied in soft low voice – ‘ She got heart stroke , where is she ? , Is she fine , I went out to get the doctor for help ….”
Oh God !!!!! What I have done !!!
I hit the girl who was out in emergency for her mother searching for doctor and met with accident and now no one exactly knows what really happened to her mother , Is she alive (or) died ?
Tears in my eyes , I asked ‘ Where do you stay ? ”
She replied – ” Quarter # 11 , Road 4 , Near Hanuman Temple, Worli ( East )’
I immediately rushed to the address she stated and yes , Her mother passed away this morning around 8:00 am . Neighbors were waiting for her daughter who went out for medical help.
Looking the scene at her home , I remained stunned and couldn’t speak out.
Neighbors waited for few more hours and then they took her body to funeral place and performed all formalities. There was no one else in their family.
I returned to hospital , but didn’t share this information with her.
I sat quietly for an hours just glaring her and cursing myself for her loss.
I asked ‘ Do you work any where ? , How many members are there in your family ?’
For this she gave half answer ‘ Me and my mother ‘
I again asked same question but other way – ” How you manage day to day expenses ? ”
She stayed numb and didn’t speak.
Dr Subhash came in for inspection around 1:00 PM and guided me to take her home tomorrow after filling all necessary formalities.
But I don’t know where to take her now . Her mother expired which she was not aware .
I stayed whole time in hospital , helping her and paying all required bills and filling up the formal requirements.
Next day , I called my driver with other car to pick me up from hospital . I took her to my home.
She was surprised and asked me why I brought her here and who Am I ?
I explained her everything in detail and apologized deeply for her loss.
She cried her heart out and requested me to drop her home .
I refused and made her stayed my place till she get fine.
As my parents were out , so there was no concern of any explanation to them.
Few days went , and she made some progress.
Something clicked my mind now , I recollected , Dr Subhash informed me she had HIV.
As we are bit familiarly known to each other , I asked her
‘ Can I ask you a question , if it don’t hamper you emotionally ‘
‘ You are person who helped me in my tough time , no one would do it nowadays, I owe a lot to you , you can ask anything you want’
– ‘ How you are suffering from HIV ? , do you know this ? ”
She remained silent for a while and said , ‘ You know , you asked me same type of question as where I work to meet day to day expenses’ and
I Remained silent ‘ did you remember ? ”
” Yes, I do ” — I replied
” I … I … I sell myself ” — She said with some glitch
” What !!!!! , are you sex worker ? ” — I asked abruptly
‘ Yes, My father expired a year ago and I am uneducated girl, he left us with nothing and my mother already had heart attack. She used to worked earlier but due to defying age, she stopped. I was dragged in to sex racket by my aunt , who forcefully ask me to do it , this was not know to my mother and she always used to think , I am working in factory on daily wages.
I sold myself , more the number I can remember . But this accident took everything away from me. I have nothing now , I don’t know how would I survive… ”
I thought whole day about her situation and was shocked about the incidents falls.
Next morning to fill some space on this mistake , I proposed her to marry me .
She plainly said no to me ,due to the disease she was suffering from.
But I insisted her to get married to me.
Today after 30 years of our marriage , we have 2 beautiful daughters .
But this question always trigger in my mind , which that crucial accident left
‘ Did I gave life (or) took away a life that night?”